A
female
age
30-35,
*ristie2021
writes:I am a 20 year old mother of a 2 year old. Me and my fiance have been together for almost 5 years now, he is the father of my son.We love each other dearly but for 3 years this man has been jobless. He's had two jobs total. They only lasted a couple months, one was seasonal and the other well they fired him over a stupid reason. He has no motivation to want to do anything. He sits on the couch and doesnt clean our house, etc. I have asked him over and over again to do something about his life and its like it goes through one ear and out the other. I think he has some sort of depression problem but he wont seek a medical personal over this. If I ask him to do something, its only after I start nagging him that he will do it. He doesnt get up to go find a job, he falls asleep after staying up all night, when he supposed to watching our child. I dont know what else to do with him. I love this man, he loves me, I know he does. But what am I supposed to do about a man who doesnt want to do anything? I see the potienal in him to be something good, but its like I cant get him there... I am trying to change the person he is, but others say I am...I guess my question isHow to do I get him motivated, is he gonna be like this forever, am I trying to change him, and what do I do?Thank you for reading this, I apperciate your time.
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female
reader, kristie2021 +, writes (29 August 2010):
kristie2021 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I appreciate the answer that you posted, thanks for your wisdom and advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): If he's been jobless and unmotivated for three whole years and refuses to get help for his depression, he probably will be like this for many years to come. You will end up being the sole provider for your family, while he remains a permanent installation on the couch.
After three years, it's time to give him an ultimatum: Either he gets up, gets a long-term job and quits being a lazy slag, or he moves out and deals with his life on his own. Fact is, if he really loves you, he'd see how you're feeling about this issue and do something to make it better.
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