A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:right i'll try to be brief, sorry if i'm not..i've been doing loads of high intensity training over the past year and for the first 6 months i was losing weight but since then i've not lost any weight and i could do with losing some.thats not my own personal vanity talking, i'm 12 stone but i need to be around 10 stone to have a reasonable BMI (i know it's a load of bull but a medical i have to have for a certain job includes a BMI count)anyway, of all people to notice, my instructor noticed that i've not lost any weight over the past 6 months. he was asking me what my diet's like, if i've noticed the fact, if i'm comfortable with my weight etc. (he also said i should lose some weight as i will benefit from it, being fitter and faster)now like most women i'm uncomfortable with my body, and to hear a guy i train with and respect to say 'you could do with losing some weight, what have you been eating because you should be losing weight with the training you do' naturally, really hurt. but i just took it all on the chin, not letting him see how self conscious i am.was i right in just letting him carry on obliviously? or should i have picked him up on the fact that the conversation was actually rather uncomfortable and making me secretly upset?i know he's right in the fact that i need to lose weight. but i never thought it was that noticeable to everyone else..please helpanon x
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice.
i didn't make it very clear as to what my diet is really; my diet is rather good with about a 3rd or more of it being fruit or veg, i cannot stand skipping breakfast as i feel terrible throughout the day but aside from that i eat very little, i feel like i'm being greedy if i eat to the point where i feel full(it may be a little strange but still) i don't starve myself though, far from it.
it's not that i'm gaining weight, just that i'm not losing it. so what i'm eating must be very close to what i'm using to exercise, either that or i have a terribly slow metabolism (or both) which as you could understand feels rather disheartening.
anyway, thanks for the advice about my instructor (he's not quite like my personal fitness instructor but it's close enough as i can't see the need to explain the full situation there..) i know he's only trying to help but after we established the problem he dropped the subject and offered very little advise as to what i could do. he may of just been trying to draw it to my attention as something that needs addressing, but i have very little clue what to change (apart from diet, and he specifically told me not to do that) and he has offered very little in the way of advice.
i could almost liken it to you telling someone their watch is broken but not explaining how it is broken or how to try to fix it.
anyway, thanks again for the advice and information
anon xx
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (6 August 2011):
 Your instructor? Are you talking about a personal exercise trainer, or a schoolteacher? If you're talking about a fitness instructor, he's just doing his job! If you're talking about a schoolteacher that teaches math or something, it's none of his business.
I have the feeling that it's a fitness instructor you're referring to, and believe me, he's supposed to notice these things and try to figure out why it's happening. Don't feel upset and hurt and all that -- he's on your side!! If he kept his mouth shut out of fear od hurting you, he wouldn't be doing his job, and you'd keep laboring and the weight wouldn't come off.
Instead of taking it personally, make it a problem both of you can solve. His dream is to see you happy with your new body and confident. He didn't say these things to demean you -- he said them so that he could help you remove whatever obstacle is keeping you from continuing progress towards your dream body.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): Yes you were right to keep silent, he is your trainer and is disappointed in you for not doing as well as you should be doing.
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