A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey there.im feeling so so low at the moment. i have been going out with the most amazing amazing guy in the world for nearly a year. we had some amazing times.however i was a very very jealous and insecure girlfriend and drove him away. he came to see me the other night and said he couldnt cope with my insecurity. he said hed never argued with anyone in his life until he met me.i begged him not to leave and that i thought we were going to be together for life.he said hed already made his mind up.he does a medical degree and he says although he loves me, i mess with his head too much and that he thinks he makes me more insecure.he says hes either made the best or worst decision of his life but hes not sure which one yet.i feel so so so devestated. although im only 20 and at university i know that it was the real thing. he was all i ever wanted in a man.the man of my dreams.whilst in the relationship i went to counselling and regularly posted on here to ask for advice.i feel so unmotivated.he was the shining star in my life. the person that made ecerything seem ok, no matter how bad.im scared that im going to get depressed because i have problems with the blues already.im also scared about seeing him out and about beacuse he lives quite close by me. i know that noone can stop the feeling that my heart is ripped in two, but any idea how to make me fel a bit better?and what do i do if i see im out?and also how long will it take to stop feeling like this?and is there any way to make him miss me, as silly as it soundssorry this was long but i would love some advice xxxx
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depressed, insecure, jealous, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): You are awesome. You are remarkable. You are beautiful. You are unique in your own right. You are precious. You are completely and entirely outstanding, and you BETTER know that. You, You, are just a human being that loves and has passsion and has emotion. I have no idea who you are, but im in a rough relationship now and i certainly can empathize. (im 20). You will definately be fine! You know how many people have lost, been extremely hurt, in this life, and they ALL get over it. (its human nature to heal)
Just know and ackowledge that you have a beautiful heart, and the ability to care for someone. its awesome. and you will carry that till the next person, and if they are better for you, the mesh will be percise.
Life is just a feeling. When your 80 years old, will it be worth it to feel so upset at 20. Big Picture allows you to escape. You will love again, regardless of who it is. You will be fine and remember your awesome, i swear to you your awesome because everyone is. Appreciate yourself, because you are indisputably awesome. sorry to sound repetetive, but its valid. You'll be fine. Take care
Start to deeply love yourself. Fall in love with yourself. The cute qualities you have. Your smile. The way you laugh. Be wary of your behaviors. Your an awesome ball of energy and emotion. Note your mind controls all, thus, if you can grasp your behavior you gasp your feelings: your life.
:)
A
female
reader, moonfairy  +, writes (6 April 2008):
I am currently still broken hearted also. My bf of eight years started acting really strange many months ago. Turned out he's been with a new woman since August. I am devastated. So, I know how you feel. Nothing really helps totally, but its been about 6 weeks since I found out and we broke up. Here's how I am coping: A lot of prayer, reading these advice columns, keeping busy, rewarding myself with a new outfit or cd, etc if I refrain from calling and emailing - even putting a stamp on my calender if I have a good day. Calling every once in awhile to let him know I always will be there for him as a friend. He seems to appreciate this. Small steps. Keep the faith. Good luck. I am rooting for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): He may have done you a favour believe it or not. I don't mean that losing this relationship is a good thing but you need time to build up your confidence and self esteem - so these insecurities are out the way. Doing this in the context of a relationship is always very hard - so make this an 'opportunity' and when you feel you are level again he may be back in your life. If not him then someone else. Being needy and low is not going to make him want you back because he is seeing the 'desperate' side of you (sorry to sound harsh). When he sees you full of confidence - a woman in your own right - then he may, just may, consider things again. Some relationships, if they are meant to be, can re-join later when circumstances are better or people have 'healed'. If you really want this guy still after a few months...then make sure you have moved on from your insecurities and he can see a very different woman.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (4 April 2008):
 I don't want to get your hopes up, but you said ~ and I quote; ''he says hes either made the best or worst decision of his life but hes not sure which one yet''.
Why don't you give him a call and tell him you're very sorry for feeling insecure and messing with his head, and suggest something like...leaving him alone for a while, to get on with his degree.
Tell him that parhaps a break would do you both good, and that if he feels the need to call you, you'll be there for him.
I'm sure he'll respect you for that suggestion. What ever you do, do 'not' sob or plead and beg for him to get back with you.
The reason for the constant arguing ~ was probably because the guy must have been feeling totally under pressure, what with his studying and you with your insecurities, it's the last thing he needs.
Back off a little and give him some space, and who knows, he may miss you and want to get back with you.
A long shot I know, but I might work.
Let us know how you get on, and be strong!!
Luv BigSis xXx
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