A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi :)I have some worries at the moment about my boyfriend of 1 year and a friend that's a girl he has made on the Internet. They were friends before I met him, although not that close and they have never actually met in person because she lives far away. Over the past couple months they have been increasing contact and I think they talk a lot, on either facebook, text or MSN-I'm not sure which way because I don't have access to his facebook, phone or emails and I wouldn't want to look anyway. I have gathered this from what they have written on their facebook walls, he wrote a comment that must refer to what they have been saying privately because I didn't understand it. This girl keeps putting status updates that seemigly refer to my boyfriend, things like she's thinking about a guy and other innapropriate things etc. And now, she moving to live about an hour away from my boyfriend....and it's bothering me that he is going to choose to be with her now. She is a beautiful tall model and he is obviously attracted to her.I live 2 hours away from him and we see eachother every weekend or every other weekend, we talk every day and he tells me he loves me. We have been having a rough patch recently mainly due to my insecurities which I have developed from past relationships so have had a couple arguements so I don't feel as though I can ask him about this.We had a talk last Sunday and I said if you want to leave the relationship, here is your chance, say now and he told me he loves me and he wants me and wants to be with me. It's just the checking up and drama he doesn't want. When he dropped me home he kept kissing me and saying he loved me. So, as much as it would kill me to do this..should I just end the relationship and let them be together because this stress is tearing me apart or to try and ignor my insecurities and not mention my worries as it will push him further away from me? I could really do with some help and advice :)Thanks for readingx x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Firstly I wouldn't worry about her. She sounds like a shallow and insecure attention seeker. You need to be able to trust your man in all aspects. Telling you he loves you is not an indication that he can be trusted. From what I've read, he's obviously turned on by the attention, but passes it off as a friendship so you won't see it as an issue. I can see that he's already hurting you deeply. Not being able to talk to him because you fear he won't like it means he's already controlling you and you don't even know it. he know's he's doing something wrong by you (just by emailing another woman behind your back) which is why he makes you beieve that YOU'RE the insecure one so you won't have to bring it up. He's terribly Selfish and only cares about his own needs. My advice to you, is to do the same "think about yourself and just watch how quickly he forgets his "Friend". I would settle for nothing but happiness. No drama, no worries. I care and look after myself and others around me. If anyone makes me feel less than who I am, I turn the other cheek. By keeping quiet, you're letting him get away with it and making yourself suffer in silence. He will carry and it won't end (why should it?). No man should make you feel this way. He's got a lot of explaining to do so maybe you should ask him all the questions you like. Be direct, but pick the right time (meal out?). Don't ever be afraid. You'll always come out the better person for wanting more for yourself. If you're not happy with him, why are you with him? Good luck and I'll be thinking of you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): I was in a similar situation and I pushed him away from me until he didn't want to come back. Don't make the same mistakes I did. If he didn't really want to be with you, he wouldn't be.
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