A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for more than a year now. We have a really good relationship. The first half was amazing. We told each other everything and I was genuinely happy, and being depressed that's saying something. However, as the relationship moved forward, he came to me saying school was really stressful and that he was going to need me. You would think this would be easy, but I'm a very low maintenance girl dating a high maintenance boy. I also have a very low self esteem, I'm terribly self conscious, and I basically think I'm a scum of the world. I am insecure and I feel worthless. I never rose to the occasion and I never was there for him like he needed. The relationship got rocky. We're still together, but we don't feel as close. I'm no longer happy, and I cry almost every time I see him. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. He tells me now that he is really close to leaving me, but he really loves me and I should never forget that. He tells me he wants to date me and not my insecurities. I am in therapy and I'm trying to get over my pathetic life... I don't know what to do. I try for him in small things that don't matter (getting him coffee, trying to send long loving texts, trying to make him smile). I know my efforts aren't good enough. I need some advice on how to get over myself and try for him. I want him in my life. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SOShelp  +, writes (5 June 2012):
 First things first; your insecurities. Do you know where these stem from? Try to combat these and then things will pick up.If you cry when you see him then he probably thinks that he is doing something wrong or hurting you. If he says he loves you then he means it.Little things do help. Like making him coffee and things. Instead of sending him loving texts, say them to him because then they will mean so much more.You love him? Do you really love him? Then fight for him! He loves you so be happy that you have someone who if there for you! You ARE good enough for him. Whenever you feel like you are 'the scum of the world' tell yourself that 'I have a kick-ass boyfriend and he's mine. And he's chosen me'. Get strong over your possessions because you love him and he loves you so I see no problem.Your boyfriend does love you. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't so know that you are good enough. You are NOT the scum of the world so start believing it and your boyfriend will. Show him that YOU are better than your insecurities.
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