A
female
age
41-50,
*aima
writes:my in-laws are disturbing my life and my husband dont understand even though he knows that sometimes they are wrong. but he never told them that they are wrong. he love me a lot but like them too so he want everything together. i fighted alot, discussed but no change he is still taking their side. what to do friends i am trying to handle this matter nicely. i dont want to use any culprit formulas like start putting poisen in my husband heart about his family. only i want him to realize that they are wrong. they already told us that dont start any family just adopt his sister's daugher cause his sister 's husband is passed away. tell me what to do. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, raima +, writes (11 April 2008):
raima is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all!!!!!!!!!!! well i read all answers and finally decided to discussed with my husband but i am sure that it is not eacy to change him still he thinks about them evn they have everything ..............i must remember him that he promised me when he got married with me and now its time to fulfill if not than no need to live toghter. what you says guys.
A
female
reader, tennistar03  +, writes (11 April 2008):
I'm in the same boat... and slowly coming to shore. My in laws wanted me to have a baby ASAP. I got tired of hearing about how my husbands brother got pregnant right away after getting married.my husband and i have chosen a career over family for the time being. but what helped me was that I set up a marriage counseling with our church and asked my husband to attend with me to better our marriage. I know it was wrong of me to "hide" the real reason why we went but, It was a way for the both of us to get our feelings out on the table. He loves his family and he loves me that will never change nor can i ask him to change that. But what we discovered is the basic fact that is in Gensis... a man leaves his family and clings to his wife. I'm not sure of your religious beliefs and i hope i dont offend you. but just getting a third party that does not know you personally to just listen to the situation helps. i was right in many things as so was my husband; family will be there but you two need to live YOUR life and YOUR marriage. your inlaws already have done that... the both of you need to sit down with them and let them know you guys belong to each other and no one else will have a say so in your marriage/life.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): im sorry to hear about the extra pressure your in laws are putting in your marridge.
i understand how in some cultures extended family have a lot of say in what goes on in relationships
you are right, do not poisen your husbunds mind.
you are his wife, there are other ways.
as his wife, you can connect with your husbund, in many ways, a wife can pleasure and please her man, which is something your inlaws can not do.
try and do something special, be loving, lustful, tease him, when you are alone, hug him and tell him he would make a good dad for your babies, ask him if he wants babies.
by all means, adopt your neice if you wish too, but also suggest that you have your own child.
you are his wife, you might be shy, but you have this right and nobody else does. most of all make your husbund aware of how much you love him and care for him, hopefully he will start to change his mind.
god bless
friend
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Why would this be necessary in Singapore? Your sister-in-law isn't unable to raise a child as a widow in your culture, why are your In-Laws insisting that you do this? Are you expected to take care of his parents in their old age as well? This is a lot to be heaping on your young husbands shoulders, in essence, making him responsible for the WHOLE family. He needs to be a married couple with you, first and foremost. That is what you do when you marry. Then you should be acting as a united couple and making decisions together. You put each other first now, and extended family comes after that. It isn't selfish to want to start your own family, that is what married couples do. Good luck Dear.
...............................
|
