A
male
age
30-35,
*erugrim762
writes:we're a gay male couple (18 and 19) and we've been dating nearly 8 months, recently i had a sexual thing with another guy who i'd been friends with for a while, we didn't have sex, we didn't even kiss, we were sleeping in the same bed, i was absolutely exhausted and this guy's hands were wandering and he half gave me a hand-job and i didn't stop him. I told my bf about it straight away and he was understandably upset. After working through things he said he forgives me and SOME things went back to normal like sex and hugging, but he still refuses to open mouth kiss me again and he gets upset at random times and says its because of what i did. i ask him whats wrong and he says that if i don't know then i'm not a good boyfriend. he says i don't care about him and that other people do, i don't know how to deal with him getting upset at random intervals about something thats in the past and something that he's apparently already forgiven me for. Being with him has almost become like a chore because he just gets upset at the smallest things and nothing i say or do will calm him down, honestly sometimes i think that our relationship is more trouble than its worth, what can/should i do?
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female
reader, holly123  +, writes (19 July 2009):
i can sort of relate to this, on some levals, but i think it is worth the fight. take you boyfriend out show him how much you love him, need him and especially want him more than anyone else. reassure him thats all he needs. give him space and let it takes its own corse. hope that helps!! good luck!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): I read the other response and can't make head nor tail of what they were saying.I think you and your boyfriend need to do some straight talking. Yes the incident was in the past, however it still happened and has changed your relationship. How would you feel if he told you he let some other guy give him a hand job? You need to tell him how wrong of you it was,how badly you feel, that you hate what its done to your relationship and that you really want to move on from it with him. Tell him you are scared that you are drifting apart and you really don't want to loose him. If things do not improve soon maybe it's time to call it a day and end your relationship.I hope it all works out well for you both.
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A
female
reader, gRaa +, writes (18 July 2009):
 you need to understand that he is obviously upset about the affair as anyone else should be, he is young and his heart probably doesnt want to believe that he might loose someone as close to him s you do - maybe he refuses to openmouth kiss you incase it makes you even more tense, and the more bad you feel, the more it will lead the other guy on because some boys are sly and get the wrong idea, this will help him seem like he is sorry and make you feel even badder for him - beware for him to make another move, if you tell your boyfriend, it is possible he could end things with you ): so dont let the other guy get in the way.
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