A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hello all - I posted a question nearly a year ago and checking it back recently I can see that people have even commented recently so thank youhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-in-laws-hate-me-and-my-husband.htmlI wanted to add a comment - maybe it is a final nail in the coffin but despite the support and positive remarks I have been unable to make the big step to leave over the last year - continuing to hang on to see if the relationship could improve. However my husband has continued to uphold the great 'divide' that now exists regarding me and his parents - making phone calls to them when he is out walking the dog, or arranging visits behind my back. They continue to be cold like a 'silent punishment' towards me. However the last straw came on my birthday when, although I have been studying hard for some exams, my husband decided to spend the day with his parents on my birthday (apparently this was the only day they could make that particular week - he had the week off). He did not apologise to me, comment on it or anything - just weakly agreed to see them and I kept quiet. I swallowed my rage and made a decision - my blood ran cold. My own friends and family cannot believe his actions. Neither can I. But i can believe in a better future.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 I'm with eyeswideopen here. He's had his chances (I read your previous post, by the way) and it is time for the big move. You can do it; you've put up with enough. Wake up call time is now! Why waste another minute of your life in this toxic environment? Remind him that it's not just about your birthday, it's about the entirety of his behavior toward you, and that in not dealing with his parents' treatment of you he's been tacitly consenting to it.
You'll be going through all the issues of separating, but at least you'll be moving in the right direction, and you'll be taking back control of your life! Go out there and do what you know you need to do...
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 May 2008):
 I wouldn't waste any more time waiting for things to improve on their own. Separate and tell your husband exactly why you are doing it. It may be the wake up call he needs or he may just go running back to mummy. Either way you will be moving in the right direction instead of just treading water. Good luck and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, ortie +, writes (4 May 2008):
it sounds like your husband is a mummys boy have you sat down with him and told him how you feel calmly try telling him you will leave if things do not alter and how much this situation is upsetting you dont give him the big its me or them but just be honest with him or even ask his parents what the problem is
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