A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. We're both currently studying and taking the same course. Just last month, I found out he was cheating on me. I found his messages to the girl on his phone. When I confronted him, he admitted that he loved her but he said he loved me more. The girl was his online friends and as he claimed, he never met her but it has been going on for 2 weeks.He was sorry and said he will never love anyone else. I asked him to prove his love for me by calling the girl in front of me and end everything with her. He refused to do it and said he didn't want to involve the girl anymore. I gave him time. I got fed up after a week and dumped him. And at that moment, he quickly told me he'd call the girl up as long as I don't leave him. Well, he did just that. And I took him back. We're still together now. But sometimes I am doubting my decision of taking him back because I know I could live without him. Sometimes I think the reason I took him back was because he was in all of our classes and I didn't want our friends to act differently around him.What should I do?I love him. I really do.But the heartache is so overwhelming, that sometimes I just hate him. And the love just goes out the window. I don't even trust him anymore. Every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. I will doubt every phone call or message he receives. I will ask what does he do at home.He has shown that he has repent. He has stopped getting angry at me. He tries to make me feel happy. He wants to spend time everyday with me. But despite all that, the trust I once had for him is gone.How could someone love a person but not trust them?Please help me. I can't go through life like this any more. My head keeps recalling the messages that I've read. My imagination is going wild thinking about things he's doing behind my back. I don't know what else to do.Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Thanks TigerLily.
I took in those options before.
At times, it's just so hard. But at other times, it's as if it never happened.
That's why I'm confused.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (21 March 2009):
I think you already know what you need to do. You cannot find peace and happiness in a relationship with a man you cannot trust. You deserve to have a significant other you can trust. What's worse - the pain of breaking up with your boyfriend and moving on with your life... or continuing to live like this?
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