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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm really unsure as to how my husbands friend feels towards me. He's single. He keeps eye contact and flirts with me when he's drunk. Every time I see him, he makes comments about my clothes, not bad or good, just comments on my boots or coat etc. Last night (he was a little drunk)I was sat next to him in the pub and I could feel his arm leaning on mine. The week before he felt the need to stroke my new jacket around the neck and chest area. Would you just say he's a friendly sort of bloke who's had one too many or is there a real attraction there. This is really important to me. x Thank you x
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Hey Anonymous,I think it's a little of both: he's drunk and then allows his real feelings to show. And as much as this might flatter you, it's extremely disrespectful toward you and your husband; he shouldn't be rubbing your "coat" like that (or anything else).I would actually talk to your husband about how his friend is being a little too "friendly" with you. Maybe you guys can plan on getting together with this guy only when he's sober. Maybe your husband could tell him to back off. (BTW - have you told him to stop already? If not, that should be the first step.)And like Zanders says, if you're thinking about sleeping with him, don't do it. You know what the outcome of that would be and you probably wouldn't end up with either of them in the end.Take care, anon.
A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Zanders, I agree with your sentiments in the context you are addressing (if she were interested in him) - but please re-read the post.. I can't see that she is interested in the least?! Just wants to know what this guy is up to!!
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A
female
reader, snowbird +, writes (1 September 2006):
I would err on the side of caution here - it does seem as though he fancies you and he is definitely being over-familiar. I would not sit next to him or give him any encouragement whatsoever..
Have you spoken to your husband about his behaviour? You could bring it up in a jokey kind of way, ie; "****was a bit full-on tonight, was'nt he" - something like that, just so that you can sound him out, or see if he behaves like this with everyone..you could add that it is making you feel uncomfortable, and he can then have a word in his ear and tell him to stop, perhaps not see him too often..?
I've been there too, and know about 'divided loyalties', so it can be somewhat delicate to approach. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Zanders +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Dont do it, I know you are thinking about sleeping with this guy, its a real turn on because its the forbidden fruit.
why dont you focus on your husband direct that attention and passion towards him.
He doesnt sound like that much of a friend to your husband to me anyway.
You are flattered by the comments that he passes your way and thats partly why you are interested.
As he is single he is probably looking for oppurtunities everywhere - I would stay away if I were you.
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