A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband works with mostly females in an office including his boss. That sort of bothered me at first but not that much until his boss began sending emails to his phone on the weekends that had nothing to do with work. Sometimes the emails were in the middle of the night. The emails would be jokes and things of that nature but I find it to be intrusive of her to think she should can contact him outside of work when it is not work related. The office he works in has a unprofessional atmosphere (his words not mine) and he needs the job. He participated in some of the antics at work but now says he doesn't and I believe him but this went on for a few years. He still works there because in this economy it is tough to find work elsewhere. She now seems vindictive towards him that he doesn't want to participate in all the office jokes or horseplay that goes on. She seems to need his attention for some reason. How do we get past this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011):
I have the same problem with my wife and her male coworkers. It drives me insane. I feel like they are intruding on my life and my relationship. I wish I had a solution. I'd love to tell them off, but my wife says she wouldn't like that. So far I just told my wife to keep pressure on them to try to be more professional and that is what she is doing. Things seem a bit better. Another request I have for her is that she not check her phone after hours, but the problem with that is that occasionally it really does deserve a response. To be honest, I'd like to wring some necks. Most of those people are immature and don't really know what it is like to be in a committed relationship (or, if they are then they are in bad ones)!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): Maybe she doesn't realise the e-mails are going to his phone and thus interrupting your life. So I'd start by asking him if he could remind her of that. Or maybe he could disconnect his phone from that e-mail account and read it over the web.
Best to take these things one small step at a time, lest you end up looking foolish for imagining too much.
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A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (27 May 2011):
 His boss sounds like a nightmare! A really awful one that is going to be hard to turn off it seems...Can your husband have a talk with his boss at work and say that texting and calls in the middle of the night is getting him into a lot of trouble at home. Maybe use your rights as his wife to make his point hit home with his boss? Say that 'you' are getting angry with him and suspecting things that are not happening, so could she please stop ringing/texting him?Depending on her reaction is how you will get to the heart of the matter I feel. If she get's really nasty and continues to make intrusive contact, then you have your answer. She is deliberately trying to cause trouble between you and your husband.If the contact stops, then you know that his talk with his boss has been sucessful and maybe she just wasn't aware of how annoying these calls were. Though I fail to see how, considering ANYONE is going to be, quite rightfully, pretty pissed off at being harrassed by the phone when they are trying to get some sleep.Or, have you and your husband sat down and REALLY talked about things, and how much of the office 'games' did your husband actually join in, with his boss included? Have things developed between your husband and her to an intimate level and now he wants to end things? I am not sure of what has happened, as only you and your husband can talk things through. But if he is trying to end an affair, it is going to be very difficult for him in the workplace to still hold his job.If you trust your husband implicitly, then this woman needs to have a proper talk with your husband so he can pull her into line.If she is unwilling to change, then he has the option of going for harrassment charges, but I can understand that this is an option that he may not want to take.Very difficult situation for you and I feel so sorry for you having to go through this at this stage in your lives, when finances are tight, and you just want to settle down into a safe and comfortable life with your husband.Please take care and all the best, Sammy x.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 Hon, okay, he is claiming all innocence - then what about sexual harassment??
A formal letter should be addressed to this superior and if the superior doesnt take action, well laywer up!!
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