A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just need advice on this one....My husbands family treats me so bad. Everything in their life always ends up to be my fault for some reason. It stems back 10 years now of going round and round. I always have just listened to my husband. He says be the bigger better person and we just have to go to everything for the kids. Everytime I do go we end up leaving and getting in a argument because of something one of them did to me. Well so we decided to move away to distance ourselfs from the drama. We chose to pick and choose which events to go to. They got pissed at that and did not come to my baptism and our vow renewal. Just a jab I know. But it hurts the kids and my husband. My husband asked his Dad and Uncle to help build a chicken coop right when we moved in. I had plans on were to put it he came to measure and give a list of what was needed. We asked if they wanted to be paid they said no it was a house warming gift. So we started the coop the walls went up and it was BIG. Plans changed now it looked like a barn. It was going to take alot more time, money, help then what we thought. They continued to come and work on it but his Uncle had a bad attitude. OK I can deal with that I realized it got to be to much work. One day he came up to the door and gave me a bill. OK...we where going to give them some money anyways. But should he give that to his nephew or talk to him about that not me? BTW my husband was at work. His Uncle always was just rude to me and I would always make lunch, drinks and had beer for him like he asked for. I told him I would take to his nephew(myhusband)and get him the money. The next day his Dad calles and says then cannot come and finish it. So we hired someone to finish and never said a word about it. Three weeks later his dad says I can come and get some stuff and build the doors in my garage. My husband said nicely no Dad we are finishing it on our own. He took that down to his Uncle and it just blew up from there. First it was from all his family that it was over the money. My husband went to his Uncle and said sorry and it was done now lets move on. He aggreed! Then his daughter sends a horrible e-mail to us attacking us. Everything in the book was in it. I wrote back telling her to leave us alone and not to send a thing. She wrote back another one again attacking. I am so tired of her throwing us under the bus. We were their for her when she need us to talk to. We never said anything to anyone. So by this point I was so tired of keeping my mouth shut and wrote the worst letter to her telling everything in it that she would never want to share with anyone. Everything she told me about her nasty family I shared. I told her I was sending it everyone. I did'nt! But she did! My plan. They where so hurt. Well just like me for 10 years they have killed me. Her mother a few years back saw me and my kids in a store and attacked me in front of the kids. She did not even know what had happend if she like her daughter asked us like adults we would have explaned and it would never get to these points. My husband Uncle a few years back touched me in front of kids drunk. I never said anything till now in that letter. There is so much more....I just need advice on where do we go from here. I have not hurd a word from them since sending the letter. Just from his Dad saying stop it now. Was I wrong in sending this? Thanks for reading and sharing your opinions.
View related questions:
at work, drunk, money, move on, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014): Wow. You put up with a lot more, and waited a lot longer, than I would have! Not only have you done absolutely nothing wrong, you did the exact right thing. Among other things, they're bullies, and bullies need to be stood up to. I bet they'll treat you better if they know you're going to put them in their place once in a while.I would recommend cutting them out of your life as much as possible. Don't talk to them, don't let them come over to your house. Get somebody else to help when hints need to be done. Don't go to any of their events. Your husband can go alone if he wants to go. If he really wants the kids there, maybe you can let him take them without you, although I personally wouldn't want my children around those types of people. Even if they're nice to your kids, that kind of nastiness towards other people can rub off on them.If that can't be done, I would recommend "striking back" at every opportunity. Do not, under any circumstances, let them attack you without retaliation. You'll be amazed by how much their attitude changes. And you'll feel better too!
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 It seems a bit late in the day one to tackle all these problems. It probably won't matter what you say or do they seem so set in their ways. I would suggest that if your kids want to keep contact with them let your husband take them. You should cut all ties yourself they are ruining your life. Anymore jobs you need doing get someone outside of the family.to do them.
...............................
|
