A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently on a ride home my husbands coworker needed a ride home. While we were driving his coworker begin to flirt with my husband, He repeatedly said how much he liked my husband, saying my husband was one of a kind. How he had never met anyone like him, then he brought up a trip that they had took for the job..They had a job in Kansas and were there for about two months, he said to me how thats where their hearts first united, then he continued saying how much he liked my husband and how I better watch out cause he was going to take him from me!He has also grabbed my husbanda arms and said how strong my husband is, So he calls my husband everyday they dont see each other at work on the phone. I mentioned to my husband how I found him to be a little weird and how I feel my husband should have said something during the car incident instead of just laughing,,and how him grabbing his arms saying how strong he is is out of line... but my husband became angry at me, said he doesnt have a problem with any of it! Im wondering now if maybe theres something going on....He has been acting really funny for the last cuople of days....oh and another thing on my mind...My husband rides with him in the morning, they dont have to be at the plant till 6:15 am but his flirty friend wants my husband dropped off at his house at 5am and job site is only 25 mins away...what is the other 45 mins for??Am I over reacting?
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (19 October 2017):
You asked your husband about it and he became angry and defensive. That more than anything should tell you that this is more than joking around.
It's time to have a serious heart to heart with hubby if he won't talk to you honestly you may have to decide if you want to stick or twist.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (19 October 2017):
 This is definitely not funny.
I am surprised by your husband getting angry and saying that he has no problem with the entire situation.
The fact that this co-worker can act so tacky and seemingly sleazy in your presence is very disrespectful and as WiseOwlE mentioned, he has a lot of nerve alright!
If a man behaved in this manner in my husband's presence, you can bet your bottom dollar, that i'd be saying something to the co-worker and to my husband.
I would simply demand some respect as we're married and i'd be having a serious chat with my husband regarding his co-workers strange and overt behaviour.
You aren't being shown full respect by your husband and the fact that he'd even get upset afterward, i must ask, why??
You should be able to discuss anything with your spouse or at least you'd hope so.
A good marriage, an open marriage is one whereby 2 people can discuss everything freely and openly without the need to retort, yell or display aggression, anger and frustration.
You should continue to keep a really close eye on your husband and his co-worker.
You should ask your husband, why the need to be out of the house so early in the morning and what does he do with this co-worker before they commence work?
This is your right as his wife no, you're not crazy nor paranoid.
You've witnessed some very weird behaviour and you must know for once and for all, as to what's really going on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (19 October 2017):
 I read your post and could actually visualise it all because I work closely with a gay man who I could imagine joking about like that. I know, however, that he would never take it any further than joking. He does it with males AND females (often tells me "Brace yourself. I'm right behind you.") but we KNOW it is only banter.
Unless your husband's colleague is extremely hard faced (I have no way of telling), I doubt very much he would openly say he is going to take your husband from you unless it was in jest and because he knew your husband would never entertain it. Rather it was his way of having a joke and telling you how much he likes your husband.
Whatever the situation, you need to speak to your husband seriously. In your shoes, I would say something like, "Look, this has been preying on my mind so I need you to reassure me that I have nothing to worry about." If he assures you that you don't, then you need to try to trust him and leave it be, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.
Sending hugs. This sort of worry and unease is never easy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2017): Get it off your chest. Ask your husband what's going on and why he has to arrive at the coworker's house 45 minutes early?
If he gets angry, ask him what you're supposed to think when "another man" says he's going to take him from you?
If you can provide so many reasons for your suspicions; what can anyone suggest accept you should confront your husband directly? His getting angry seems a bit evasive, don't you think?
Or he's insulted, because you'd think he has to be gay to have a gay friend.
You have a right to know if your husband is gay or bisexual; and having an affair with another man! Male or female, your husband SHOULD have a problem with anyone hitting on him in-front of you! It's probably a big joke; but he hasn't explained anything to you. He owes you that much!
I'm gay, and I don't find it funny nor appropriate to make passes at supposedly straight-men in-front of their wives; or at any other time. I think your husband is far too flattered; or there might be something going on.
Maybe your husband is just flattered by all the fuss and fury; and laughing it all off. He may be introducing you to his first gay-male friend.
The wives and girlfriends of my straight friends were a little apprehensive upon first meeting me. They just had to know more about me, and what I was up to. Now we're all as close as family. I keep my hands to myself, and I'm nobody's guinea pig to test-out their gay curiosities on. I don't go there!
I think that frisky co-worker has a lot of nerve; and he's beyond disrespectful. If your husband is not offended and doesn't seem concerned about your feelings about it; then that only adds more to the suspicion there's something going on here.
If your husband doesn't leave the house, spend a lot of time unaccounted for, or hide when he receives calls. Nothing is going on. The flirty-guy is pulling your leg!
Leaving early can be for breakfast, or a coffee-stop for the crew.
Address it, and then decide what you plan to do about it if he continues to dismiss you on the matter. I recommend you get to know this coworker; and observe them together.
Prepare for the worst-case scenario. That way, if it's all a misunderstanding, you'll be all the more relieved.
...............................
|
