A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been together with my husband for the last 6 years. we have been married for the last 2. We have one son. During our whole relationship it feels like his ex has been in the background. Since they day they have broken up she has repeatedly tried to interfere with our relationship. In the beginning she was going to my husband's(at the time boyfriend) house and hiding her underwear in places i would find it. she would also call on nights i was over and say she would kill herself. my husband would then spend hours on the phone with her. This continued almost the entire relationship. it did stop for a brief time when she moved to another state. when she moved back she continued to contact my husband. She even met someone and got married and had children but continued to call/text/email him, all the messages are about how much she loves him and he should be with her. The contact has gotten worse over the last 2 years since we have gotten married and had a child. I have spoken to my husband more times than i can count telling him that his continuous contact with her makes me uncomfortable and i want it to stop. time after time her agrees and then later i find messages and calls from her on his phone. as of now they are talking when i am at work and speak up to 5 or six times a day. I recently at my husbands permission had her number blocked from his cell phone. i have recently found calls from her on our home phone. I don't know what to do anymore. I have talked to him about this to many times to count, yet he still does not care about my feelings. He will say that he wont speak to her again, yet still sneaks around to speak with her. I need help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): the real problem here is your hb and not his ex. he allows her the day of day. he talks to her, he indulges her all the time at the expense of you. now is the best time for the ultimatum her or you, you may not want to do this perhaps out of fear but what else have you ot to lose. he has not been your 100% anyway. why does he still talk to her, what DOES HE get by talking to her. is he also having the strange emotional bond called an emotional affair with her. it seeems like HE cannot function without her and needs her in his life. so, lets forget about the ex - its your hb who has to choose. so far he has 2 women in his life. you are providing the sexual needs being met, his ex is providing and meeting his emotional needs. she is not the problem, fix the hb and your problem is fixed. somehow i get the feeling he will not change. he has the desire to talk to her daily and i think he will not stop. so where does this leave you.
A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (3 June 2009):
 It does not seem like its the other girl messing around in your relationship it is your Husband. He needs to tell this woman to stop calling or contacting him in anyway. period. no matter what threats she makes. He is the one that is allowing this to continue for so many years.
You said "In the beginning she was going to my husband's(at the time boyfriend) house and hiding her underwear in places i would find it" how did she get into his house. he must have let her in. if she broke in then she needs to go to jail.
He's sneaking around and talking to this woman 5-6 times a day. thats crazy.
If he wanted to get this woman out of his life he would. he dosen't want to. I think he's enjoying the attention -or more.
Block her number from all phones, block her emails as spam set it to immediately delete, and let her know its being deleted. he shouldn't have a problem with this because he shouldn't be talking to her anyway right.
You call her and tell her point blank to not call your house, or any thing associated with your husband anymore. your husband is obviously not up to the task. again he shouldn't have a problem with this because he's not talking to her right?
They are disrespecting you by her calling your house. that is "in your face" and it's past time to fight!
BTW: where is her husband. maybe he needs to get in on the act too, give him a call...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): not a good sign whenever an ex is in the picture, specially the way she is. It would make anyone uncomfortable. Since you're married and have a family with this man, it's a lot more complicated. talk it over with him I guess and let him know you're just not comfortable
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