A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm in the middle of having a miscarriage (it started last night) and it's the most heartwrenching experience of my life. Nobody else but my husband knows that I'm pregnant - I mean nobody knows that I WAS pregnant - because it's been hard to keep the baby and we didn't want anyone to know if we ended up losing it.My husband's brother and his fiance are having a baby next week. When everyone is congratulating them, I will also want to. But I know that if I do, I will burst into tears and I don't want that to happen. I know that there will be nowhere to go unless I run out of the room and stuff. I don't want to do that because then I think I'd owe it to them to let them know at least something about what's going on - that I'm not like a jealous jerk or something out of nowhere. But then I guess I don't at the same time because it's OUR personal business and not theirs...But I'm not thinking straight. I'm so depressed. My husband couldn't take off work to be with me today. I needed to ask someone about this. Can someone PLEASE help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice. My husband came home after being at work for an hour and we went to the hospital or else I would have thanked you earlier. I think I'm going to tell my mother in law what's going on. I'm closer to her than anyone in our family. She has also had two miscarriages my husband told me. It would make me feel better to tell someone - you guys are right. I feel awful and it would be nice to talk to someone who's been through this before, too. Thank you very much everyone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): can you tell the woman who is prgnant whats going on with you? women especially pregnant ones! will understand and if trying to keep it in is to painful, then share it. pain is easier if people around you know about it. Infact you probably owe it to tell them, how would you feel if you were in her position- people will want to help you to feel ok. Just tell your husband that you plan to tell her before you do unless your sure she will keep it from her husband, sometimes you only need one friend-it just has to be the right one. Hope this helps?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 November 2006):
 I'm so sorry your baby wasn't meant to be. The pain is terrible I know. But you will recover and will be able to conceive again and I'm sure you'll be fine. Women have miscarriages often without even knowing they were pregnant. It does not mean you won't ever have a wonderful healthy baby next time around. Some babies were just not meant to be born. Your brother-in-law's baby is a wonderful blessing for him so try your best to be happy for him. Remember your day in the sun will be coming too. Good luck, honey.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): My heart goes out to you. I wish i could be there for you today. You need a friendly arm around you. They are having a baby and all the family and friends will be gathered around, yet they cannot be there for you because they don't know what you are going through. It might sound bad now, but how about letting everyone know the next time you are pregnant, then if things do go wrong, at least you are not facing it alone. You cannot be on your own at a time like this. If you have a friendly GP then go along and have a chat with them. Open your heart to them. You need someone to keep an eye on you right now. I wish your husband could of taken time of work to be with you. Tell your best friend or what about your mam? Cry, scream, shout but let it out of your system, don't bottle it in, it will bite you later on. Please take care.
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