A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am very unhappy with my husband at this time and I have tried to express how I feel but he keeps saying that 'he is not responsible for my emotions' and that 'he is not responsible for my happiness'. I know it is important in life to find your own contentment (love yourself and feel fulfilled) but I feel like he is playing mind games with me and twists my concerns back on themselves and makes out I am weak, unintelligent in my thoughts and going mad. I thought to love someone was to take responsibility for the relationship and by default this includes the other persons happiness. Has anyone got any advice - it would be so much appreciated. :-( xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (26 June 2007):
 Your husband just doesn't understand how women "tick." He needs to know that no matter how successful a relationship is, there will be times when you "peak and fall" in your happiness. It's what women do. He's right though, he ISN'T responsible for your emotions but he CAN be there for you when you feel like this and reassure you and listen to what you have to say. It's not the man's fault a woman gets this way the same as it's not the woman's fault when the man needs to take time out and have his "space", again it's just the man's make up.
He needs to learn that when you feel unhappy, emotional and need to talk then he needs to set quality time aside and just listen to you, he doesn't even need to "fix" your problem, just listen and let you get it off your chest. This will make YOU feel more content, wanted and loved and in turn HE will feel that he helped you.
I advise you to go out and buy a book written by John Gray called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It's EXACTLY what you and your husband need. Read it together when you have time. It has some invaluable advice for both partners and in turn will help your relationship bond tighter than ever.
Eve
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (24 June 2007):
 Wow that's a toughie.
I thought part of being in a relationship aswell was to try and make the other person happy. It's a tough situation as he may never change his ways and could you live with this for years to come. His mind games are not right, although I wouldn't suggest you play them back. The tit-for-tat thing doesn't normally work.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (24 June 2007):
It does appear that your husband doesn't know, or care what a man's role is in a relationship. Both Partner's contentment is directly involved in the Loving and the giving of ourselves to each other. And He is dead wrong about not being responsible for your emotional happyness. Perhaps like lots of us men, He can only see love in the receiving not in the giving. Well, There is still hope for him, as it took me almost a lifetime to learn how to take and give love. Yet He is right to a degree, as we also must learn to love ourselves inorder to love others.
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A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan +, writes (24 June 2007):
 he sounds like a bully
try play mind games with him see how he likes it, if not try explain to him how you feel.
it sounds like he wants to be the domeneering one,
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