A
female
age
36-40,
*oliderswife06
writes:hey everybody i have a question why are men so difficult? my husband wont stop spending money! hes overseas and we have all these bills that he had before we got married and i now have bills because i got behind on some of my things tryin to pay his things and every month hes spending 3 4 even 5 hundred dollars that we dont have and i talk to him about it all the time and all he says is i work all day everyday i deserve it. but i mean i go broke and dont go out or do anything cause i put our bills first i even had to at one time ask my mother for money cause he was spending to much. and now his birthday is comin up and hes going to this place for like a week where he can drink and go to a club and hes sayin he wants me to spend 1 and some dollars for him and he wants 350 dollars for where hes going but we cant afford it at all and when i tell him this all he tells me is well then you dont love me do you you dont appericate me blah blah blah; how do i get him to stop spending our life away i mean in the last year weve spent like 20 thousand dollars payin crap off and we still have like 6 thousand more to go and he just keeps going and going i need help!! how do i get him to realize he needs to stop that what everybody esle thinks or has doesnt matter why are men so in plain words stupid about money!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2018): I understand. I have had more headaches with being married than I had when was a single parent with 4 children. Same Boat... Spends , Spends and spends... I do not even use the joint checking account. Quit using it long ago.. due to the fact that it stays overdrafted. Never asked about what bills need to be paid.. Just makes very good money and wastes... a lot of money. It's like I look in the mirror and wonder what the hell was I thinking. My credit cards are ran up to the limit from trying to pay bills... I don't get my hair done as a lady would because I can't afford it. I try talking and get complete silence and hostility.. so I decided to just focus on my bills and leave it alone. Husband uses the debit card in these steps: swipe, spend and go. I look at the bank statements and just said: forget it.. he is not gonna work with me. he is not going to listen to me. it's been several years and my conclusion is a sinking ship. Never in my life have I had such division and remind you again, I had 4 children as a working single parent. Dad paid child support and my children and me lived nicely in a wonderful manufactured home that I purchased on my home. I am just tired of being tired.Ladies, we each deserve better than this. Always trying to figure out how to catch the bills while the other so called partner in life is just blowing and going. Wasting money like water running in the bathtub... I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I am looking for jobs out of area so I can go. Can't hold a meeting about finances.. he'll get mad and not talk. This is for birds.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): I am sorry for what you are going through. I myself have the same problem. My husband has been unemployed for a year and we already lost our house. We have 4 kids and I sometimes I feel like I have 5. Our credit is horrible, trying to rent a home and our credit is keeping us from finding one. I opened my own bank acct and my payck goes staright there. But his unemployment cks dont, he cashes them first and whatever is let goes in my acct to pay bills. I am tired and irritated. I understand how you feel. People tell me to leave him, I am not sure is this a good reason to walk away from a marriage unless I do end up homeless. He promises me all the time, I have money coming in I will put it in the bank... I promise, I promise!!!! I hope you can work it out, cause I know and understand it is not that easy to walk away.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): I am so frustrated right now...I found this blog by googling "my husband won't stop spending money." My husband and I are in our mid 20's and had to file bankruptcy last year because we were so far in debt due to his excessive spending and maxed out credit cards. I was hoping that by establishing good credit over the next couple of years that we may be able to get a house one day. It's not going to happen. We have two boys and I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant. Until April, we were doing great and then he decided to take a job as a car salesman where they promise huge money (we all know how that goes). He got his first paycheck which was pretty decent and from then on assumed that he can spend whatever he wanted because he would be bringing in alot. I tried explaining to him that just because there's money in the bank, it does NOT mean that we have it to spend. I told him time and again that we needed to save for when I went on maternity leave or in case something happened to where I was unable to work. But did he listen...NO..."I work 56 hours a week and I want to have stuff to show for it." Well guess what? I can't work anymore, I'm having pregnancy complications and have been on bed rest. He had a horrible month selling cars in June and basically made $2.63 an hour. I can't handle the stress of worrying about money anymore and he still continues to spend money on cigarettes, energy drinks, and just random stuff we DON'T NEED...ie video game rentals. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm seriously considering divorce.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): KICK HIM TO THE CURB! Mine is 47 years old, is a realtor, and still spends credit card money while not having any income except mine for the last 5 months! Also, my income doesn't pay the debt we've incurred. I'm drinking every day trying to numb the fear of where I will go when the house goes into foreclosure!
Szy427
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): I feel so sorry for you. I am in the same boat.
I want to know how to stop credit cards and loans for someone that cannot control money.
There must be help somewhere. Surely if some people cannot control credit cards and loans they should not be given them.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 You cover your own debts and leave him with his. If he can't see he's spending too much money then maybe being refused some because he's reached his limit or something will make him see sense. It's a tough situation as you dont want to sit and watch him go under. There is nothing you can do to help him until he realises he has a spending problem and gets help for himself.
xxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, Jenii  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Dear soliderswife06,
Wow! All I could suggest is that if your husband refuses to take control and accept responsibility, I would hope you to have access to the account your husband is using and take out what you need to use for paying your debts, leaving him a reasoneable sum to live on.
With Warm Wishes
Jenii
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