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My husband with a panty fetish now says he wants panties from other women

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Question - (27 January 2019) 9 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2019)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My husband of 6 years just came to me and said he has had a used panty fetish since before we were ever together (almost 10 years). While I am okay (and even flattered)

that he has been using mine for his own pleasure, he has stated that he wants panties from other women as well. Should I be worried that he is not actually attracted to me and wants someone else?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2019):

PS. I see someone asked how he would get these used undies. There is a marked for it online, many women sell used underwear, clothes etc. for a living or as an extra income. I have a colleague who was asked to sell hers, and I know another woman who does this full time (she has a boyfriend btw, and he's cool with it). So it's not difficult to buy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2019):

This is in the gray zone. I dont think you should ask us if you should be worried or not, because this action alone doesnt mean either or. Maybe he wants other women, maybe he doesnt. Its like the quation of porn. Some People think of it as cheating, others dont. Does watching porn mean you desire others sexually? And is desiring others sexually a bad thing as long as you dont actually engage in sex with them?

It's a gray area. For some it will be fine, for others its not fine. It's FINE if you 're NOT fine with it, and vice versa.

So in this case, I think you should just follow your gut feeling. Tell him no, if it makes you uneasy (which clearly it does). If you arent sure, tell him he can try it, and you will see how you feel about it. You might find that you dont care. You might find that it bothers you, in which case its fine to tell him "no more".

I think it's great that he's finally opened up to you about this, and its sad that he felt he needed to keep it hidden for so long. Its also great that you feel flattered by him having used your underwear.

You just need to figure out what you feel comfortable with, and go with it. There are no rules here. Its all up to you and him to decide what you allow in your marriage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2019):

How on earth he is going to get to other womens stinking panties. I mean it is not like it was in the olden days where women used to hang their washing outside in the garden to dry. Nowadays everything is done mechanically inside the house. I suppose panties stolen from cloth lines will not satisfy him either since they are washed clean.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (29 January 2019):

Fatherly Advice agony auntTime to put your foot down. This is an exclusive committed relationship and there is no room for others. You will happily let him take over all laundry so he has unlimited access to your underwear. You will even buy special ones just to give to him. But No Outsiders.

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A female reader, Joeyh  Australia +, writes (29 January 2019):

Considering he kept it from you so long I think you’ve been pretty good about it! I’d be flattered too if it was my partner as it shows how attracted his is to YOU! I’d be wondering what kicks he gets out of other women’s panties over yours? Why are yours suddenly not good enough? Maybe see if you could ask him if roleplay would suffice instead, as in go to a bar pretend not to know each other and go home together. You never know that might interest him too! Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2019):

All I will say is this. If you give-in, you will regret it. Give a guy with a fetish an inch; and you we walk 10 miles of regret.

A man who loves and respects his wife doesn't cheat, nor does he ask her if he can collect the stinky panties belonging to other women.

Go show him your wedding pictures and remind him what all that was about.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2019):

Involving any additional person(s) in your sexual relationship with your partner is a very slippery slope. I think it rarely goes well, and even those who seem happy in those situations I suspect are not being totally honest. And if it doesn't go as you hoped... its often impossible to rewind.

Any hint of insecurity or jealousy between you will be inflated. The fact that you've turned to DC for advice suggests that it already is, so based on that alone I would apply the brakes while you still can.

Nonetheless, my personal opinion is that you need to go hand in hand with your partner into anything like this, and never involve anyone that you have or could ever have any relationship with (friend, enemy, acquaintance, etc.). There can be ZERO strings (before during or after) or it will blow up in your face. For example, if you surreptitiously obtain some used panties from your friend or something, I think there is a high risk of everything going wrong. If the panties come from strangers on the internet (plenty of cam-girls will sell there used panties) and you buy them together, or as a surprise gift from you, then maybe the risk is lower.

I hope that helps :)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (29 January 2019):

Tisha-1 agony auntI agree with Honeypie.

There are more than a few questions here.

Is he going to ask strangers to provide him with worn underwear?

I think you could probably just buy a variety pack of different sizes of underwear, make them look worn and call it a day.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 January 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI'd have to question HIM that instead of strangers on the Internet.

Also, just because he WANTS panties from other people does it mean you HAVE to give "consent" to that? I'd ask him if his fetish is more important that the marriage.

Does it mean he wants someone else? Well, in a way yes. He is no longer stimulated by your panties because you are now so familiar. It's sorta like a guy who think after so many years of marriage he should be allowed to screw someone else. Because TO YOUR husband the panties are part of HIS personal kink. So wanting other women's panties means that OTHER women will now be getting him off.

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