A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, i think i need some sexual advice for someone! Thing is me and my husband have sex quite often but i can never get arroused! He will never give ma any kind of foreplay and even if he does it's for about 5 mins, i have spoke to him about this problem but it's got nowhere. I'm having trouble orgasming and dont really have much sensation when we have penatrive sex. Most times i just think that i wish he was finished then i could go back to sleep (Which is really mean). We have tried the cuddling and different things and a couple of time it was brilliant but it's just like we are stuck in a rut.Anyone please help me out?Regardsxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): right, foreplay is very important, what i find helps is when he next inititates sex, take his hand and place it where you would like to be touched, for at least 5-10 mins, play with yourself too, let him know how good that feels.
he prob feels insecure about foreplay, have a sexy night in, wine sexy underwear and take control, get on top and give him the ride of his life, as well as satisfying yourself!!!!! remember sex is as boring as u make it!!!
i would also recommend pelvic exercises, not only does this tighen you up but also always you to work muscles you never thought you had, equalling a more sexual sensual sex life.
I hope this helps, dont give up unfortunately marriage can make a person lazy!!!!!!!!!!
A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (26 September 2007):
 He does need to learn that we girls need a bit of a build-up. Have you tried foreplay on him? Seriously, if you just massaged him, stroked him (avoiding his genitals) and whispered "sweet nothings" to him for 15-20 minutes he might start to get the idea and ... guess what ... doing this can actually be a great substitute for foreplay for you! Doing this to my guy certainly arouses me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): A men's magazine might help. It might sound strange, but I had the same problem I felt bad about never enjoying myself, or not wanting to do it and him knowing that - especially as it seemed like it was my problem that I couldn't get aroused.
My boyfriend's flatmate has a subscription to "Men's Health" and they're always going on in there about ways for guys to make it great for the girls so I started reading it & then I'd read out bits to him ... and then left it laying around -- and voila! Next thing you know, he was doing what they were suggesting & I've started to enjoy myself so much more!
Maybe because it was coming from a guy's perspective, it wasn't so demoralisng for him(?) It might be worth emailing Men's Health magazine and asking them for any article exerts on this, explaining your situation?
Certainly worth a try!
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