A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hiya,I'm 30 and have been married for 5 years.I'm sorry if this is really long but I want to get it off my chest, so to speak.In the past few months my husband's done some behaviour that's been embarrassing and in some cases, worrying.About 3 months ago we were at one of my best friends' houses - she likes hosting dinner parties and he embarrassed a distinguished guest who regularly visits her parties by pulling his trousers down and then stripping him to his vest and Y-fronts. The guest was so embarrassed, he got dressed, then told the host he'd come back next year... provided he [i.e. my husband] wasn't there.I still speak to my friend, she said there's nothing wrong with me coming to her parties, just as long as my husband doesn't come.In July, we went to a friend's birthday party - their daughter was 10. My husband had agreed to bring a video for them - he did, the video's cover said "Postman Pat" but when he put it on, there was a scene of two men having gay sex. The children screamed and the party was quickly cancelled, the 10-year-old running out the room in tears wailing "Mummy, mummy, what's that nasty picture on the TV??"Again, my husband was told he wasn't welcome in their house. I apologised to my friend, and she wasn't happy.Then in August, we were at a good friends' night out - and he really embarrassed himself, and me this time.The music was loud and everyone was enjoying myself - including my husband who promptly stripped in the party - wearing one of my bikinis - I was so embarrassed.We left, and I apologised about his behaviour.I've tried and tried discussing it with him, but he just insists he's having a joke and that I'm a killjoy. Yet when we first met he wasn't like this, and it wasn't until the beginning of this year he became this way.I really feel like I can't trust him now - how can I deal with this issue?? It's causing me stress and worry.At least I have a relationship with my friends, which is still good.Some of my friends think I should divorce him, but he's promised to not repeat it again. However, as he's said it again and again, I don't trust him.Should I stay or should I go??i don't really know what to do.please help me, Claire
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DearCupid +, writes (9 October 2007):
 This is by our resident faker I usually junk them but boy they really went to town here, 10/10 for imagination and effort so I'll just close to new answers!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Look, the issue may be compatibility between you and him. If he embarrasses you and you are uncomfortable, and you can't see this as being 'solved' in the near future, then most likely you and him aren't quite made out for each other. He's lewd, gross, arrogantly outrageous, and gets a huge laugh out of things that obviously offends most people, let alone, little children. So think, can you honestly say you love him for who he is, or do you think you are simply emotionally obligated to him?
How much more can you tolerate? It's probably his core personality to be a witless ass, if you don't mind me saying so. 8]
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 It sounds like he is becoming unhinged. I would suggest conselling, if he refuses then you have to ask yourself where the relationship is going?
The porno for young kids suggests a twisted degenerate mind. If it was my house and my children I would have called the police.
What you should consider is has he merely been repressing this behaviour for the sake of your marriage and now he can no longer hold it in as it were.
I dont really know what to suggest other than get the hell out before he does some real damage.
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A
female
reader, 12121 +, writes (9 October 2007):
i think you should leave to b honest his made it quitre clear he doesnt care about embarrising you. an i dnt call putten porn on at a child party a joke its sick. i fink he needs some serious help.
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A
female
reader, little miss fix it  +, writes (9 October 2007):
Hi there the piece in your letter about your husband showing a porn film at the kids party was it done on purpose?or did your husband not realise what was on the tape? as for everything else it all sounds very dodgy to me i wouldnt put up with it for long then id run a mile.If his behavier continues and he doesnt change then my advice to you would be get out of there,You cant go out as a couple to spend time with friends which must be tough.Do you still love this man?write back if you can and let me know how things are going.I hope you can sort things out and i hope your husband doesnt embarras you in the meantime.take care x x x x x
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