A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello.Don't know how to explain this one.Been with my American husband since 1998, we met at a burger bar near me. I'm Canadian, he's American, he was here in 1998 for work, had been in Canada for 2 years at the time.He's a US citizen still, never renounced it, despite some friends suggesting it in 2007, well after he got Canadian citizenship in mid-2003. Some friends kept suggesting it because he fitted in well locally in our small town; which, as it is, doesn't have many Americans (think there's only about 20 Americans here, so not many!)We didn't get married until 2003, 5 years into our relationship; the lead-up to Christmas 2003.Over the past few weeks he's been behaving in a way that makes me fear he's in a midlife crisis.He's complaining about how mundane life is, and wants to relive our first date at that burger bar in a big Canadian city that's a 41-hour drive from where we live, or a 4-5 hour flight between the two.What he wants to do is relive our first date with me in a sports bra crop top and tiny denim hotpants and him in a suit (as it were in August 1998) and eating burger and fries, and going to some museums like we did at the time. Even if the original places have gone, he's going to try and find new ones...I'm concerned about this, because, at my age, 47, I don't think I could pull off being in a sports bra-style crop top with denim hotpants again, and in public. Wouldn't people gawp at me and think I looked weird in clothes that were meant for women in their 20s?I don't think my husband's depressed, our life's good, sex has no major problems.Financially, things are good, too; we're not really, really rich, but we certainly aren't on welfare either.Maybe it's the financial advisor I've got, she's more than that really, she's a good friend, had her since 2003 when I was 28. Sure, there's an age gap, she's now 62 and probably near retirement but is a really good friend, and fun to be with.I've told my husband I have concerns over the idea, but he thinks I'm just worried.Don't get me wrong, he's been romantic a lot over the past 24 years or so, but I'm worried about re-creating the past in some way, even if it's new memories.Surely a woman of my age would be harassed more than a younger woman for wearing what my husband suggests?I'm 47, and I worry I'd get my photos ending up on social media of me wearing sports bra and having a bare midriff and denim shorts in public. Bear in mind, the clothes at the time were marketed to young women in their 20s, what we'd now call athleisure wear, and I worry I'd be on TikTok/Reddit whatever.Yes, I've used Reddit, but for advice on gardening or financial issues, not fun stuff.My big question is, am I really so wrong to question his outfit choices?Normally he isn't big on choosing my outfits and certainly not a controlling guy, so this is perhaps a little out-of-character for him.Also, and on a lighter note, what memories of 1998 do you have, or memories of its music/fashions that I could use as conversation topics, it's so long since I ever discussed that year, if he's gonna be nostalgic I may as well have a starting point... thing is I wouldn't know what to lookup.I wouldn't want to get into the grittier stuff of 1998 such as things like the Supreme Court of Canada prohibiting Quebec's secession, Dionne Quintuplets, or the Ice Storm, even if people do remember those things.I've never re-done a first date, so this is new stuff for me.Is it weird my husband wanting to re-do a first date of sorts for nostalgia reasons, even going so far as to fly over to the city in Ontario we originally met in at the time, and documenting the whole thing on our locked-down social media (for just family and really close friends to read?) or documenting it privately?Sorry, had nowhere else to ask really!Would like your help!
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (23 May 2022):
 It is rather odd he wants you to dress up in clothes that you wore 20 years ago, and in public.
If you don't feel comfortable doing this then don't do it. You should not have to anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Maybe wear something like that in your own home, but i don't think many people would be entirely comfortable doing this in a public space.
Wear a nice dress or something, or what ever you feel comfortable in, and if you want to dress up for your husband at home where you feel safe and comfortable.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 May 2022):
 I'd keep that outfit for LATER (as in after the date at the hotel) but tell him you'd pick your own outfit.
If you don't want to run around on a supposedly romantic date feeling out of place and uncomfortable, then pick a cute dress instead.
I can't see how you NOT wearing hot pants would ruin that date.....
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 May 2022):
 So he's feeling romantic, and you are throwing a bucket of ice water on it.
Is that going to get you what you want?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2022): Did you really go to museums wearing a sports bra and tiny denim hotpants?? To *museums*?? Please tell me you are joking.Tell me you didn't. I have a hard time figuring even a young American reaching this epithome of tacky- imagine a Canadian. So no ,please do not do it again.You did it once, - it's enough. Karma is a bitch , if you do this, I am sure that the Goddess of Art , not to mention the Goddess of Good Taste, will punish you making sure you reincarnate as a pair of fuchsia polyester pants.
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