A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidI'm married to my husband for 2 years and we dated 2 years prior marriage. My family is different country and my husband had never met them in person. Yesterday we were having conversation and he told me he does not want to.meet my parents and he does not want to go anywhere with me and he needs space and he is thinking i love him more than he does and he also thinks it's not good for me to be with him and he wants to break up. I never expected him to be unhappy with me and then we talked and decided to work on us and see how.it goes i.e i need to change and nothing on his end though, still he does not want to meet my family ever or travel anywhere with me. I'm worried that he might decide to.break up anyway, i am not sure what to do at this point..I understand i am being stupid to stay in this relationship, but I do not know what else to do, i cannot return back.to my country with failed marriage, I'm scared, worried and crying without my husband knowing. Pls help to make some sense to me,Thanks for reading.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all, i am the OP, i am actually working women and no kids and i try not to depend on him for anything. I used to give him money for his mortgage as i do not want to be a free loader. I do not want to go home, because my parents are old and my family is very old fashioned and they do not approve divorce. My parents will not be able to take it , that is the reason I do not want to tell them about my marriage trouble. We are working on our marriage, don't know what in store for me. Thanks again for all your inputs
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 October 2019):
 Look for a pro bono divorce lawyer in your area. He/She can give you advice on what your rights are, what you can do to have a roof over your head. If you haven't gotten citizenship, or a sponsorship visa through your husband that is also something you need to look into.
What you might also start to look into is getting a job so you CAN take care of yourself.
Whether you want to go home or stay depends on you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2019): Of course it is about money.Why should the lw be homeless?This is not her fault in any way.Any why with her being an adult must she go home?He is the one who fell out of love...He moved her to a whole other country and he changed the rules not her.She does have rights and if she wants to she can stay and get spousal support.She can get her own place and learn how to be independent but because he changed the rules she should have help.You just do not marry someone from another country and abandon them in yours.Even if she did want to go home guess what???.....international plane fares can run thousands of dollars...I think if that what she wants it is up to her.I just want her to know that is not your only option.Lawyer up....protect yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2019): I'm inclined to be agreeing with the last poster, he feels the marriage has hit a stale patch and he feels you're clingy. I'm sorry but if you are coming across as you are with your post I am guessing he feels a little bit trapped, you can try and hide how you feel but he is being honest with how he feels. The good thing is he is trying to work at the marriage so how about you work on being more independent and learning to step away from relying on him to meet all your needs. Are you not in a position to get a job if you dont have one? Take up a new hobby? Join a gym and work on your self confidence? And I'm sorry but you need some support, a friend? Family members? You seem to be dealing with all this on your own, there must be someone you can talk to, personally if you are close to your mum I think her, let her know what is happening because you envisage a potential marriage breakdown as being a terrible thing when sadly it can just be part of life.You also state he feels no need to change, I have to wonder what part you feel he plays in all of this, has he been a loving, reliable, understanding partner to you? The key is to work on your self confidence, find ways to have separate interests so that he remembers why he fell in love with you and yes I'm afraid failing all that look at your rights as a wife because im sorry there is nothing you, us or anyone else can do if he does decide it's over, he is telling you he is willing to work at it, you need to work out how your marriage could be improved x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2019): It's interesting to see that first response - all about money!
The man hasn't done anything wrong, he has simply fallen out of love. Why should he be taken for a ride?
What a sad greedy money orientated world we live in!
To answer your question OP, travel alone. Go see your parents - alone. Work on yourself and your independence. Go for a promotion or change job roles.
What i'm saying is, people break up all the time and the only effective remedy has ever been to give it time and focus on other things.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 October 2019):
 Be more interesting. Travel without him, cultivate new friendship and rekindle some old ones. Take up a hobby, learn a new skill.
Bring the spark back into your own life, then perhaps he'll want to be part of it again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2019): Young Lady, I am sorry that you are in such a marriage! I do not understand why you would have married a man who had not ever met your family! In the USA you have rights, and you need the advice of a divorce lawyer, to inform you of you legal rights, so that your unreasonable husband will not take advantage of you, in the event that you two do split up! Half of all the marital property is yours. Half of everything! If you have children, the court will make him pay child support money, to assist you in raising your children! If money is an issue in finding a lawyer, seek out the Legal Aid Society, in your area, and if you have trouble finding that, go to the Social Services Office, and they can refer you to any local legal services. I pray that your husband works with you to improve the situation, but it is not encouraging to know that he wants YOU to change, but he does not change! So learn your legal rights, just in case your husband bails out! Is he seeing another woman? Keep your eyes and ears open OP!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2019): Who says you have to move back? Your husband want to divorce.You must get a lawyer....even if he says you do not need one trust me you do.You have what is called an international marriage.You can stay here and yes he must send you support each and every month.He will lawyer up and try to get out of this...be smart....He might even say let's not get lawyers then surprise he shows up with one in court.Now it is time to only trust yourself.Your husband might lie to you and even say you could get deported.That is why you must get a lawyer right away to protect you and Your rights...and you have a lot more than you think.Your parents are far away that if you do choose you never have to tell them.If you have no money do a computer search for legal aid in your area.American men lie....You must get a lawyer.
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