A
female
age
,
*onny
writes:Help! My husband has taken eveything out of my name so I'm 50 and dont own a thing, he hasnt touched me in 8 years, i have no bed to sleep in or car to drive he is a dr, and makes a lot of money, we live in a dump, we never have food, i have to ask for everything and am told no, hes gone seeing patients until 11 at night, he says 7 days a week and mind you hes broke and in debt. He will never answer a question he always flips it, I have no family to help me and he has wiped me out, I cant hardly walk any more from having lupus, he says im useless! I've given him 5 kids and always took good care of him but when my dad died and i got sick with lupus. After 25 years of marriage he changed, i dont know him anymore and im scared... I stay in this tiny room in his house 24 hours a day except to go to the bathroom, i have to ask for food and then I'm yelled at, I try to talk to him but he blows up and spits on me. He's taken everything away from me, he used to be this gental man, now i dont understand but he hates me and life. He has now got cancer and he's taken my name off everything so i will be homeless if anything happens to him. Help... I dont have clothes or a car, hygiene products, i guess im not pretty anymore... i have nowhere to go and nobodys going to want me anymore, i used to be pretty, i always had nice clothes and dressed up for him, my hair was always done and i wore perfume every day. We had a very active sex life now he lives on his computer porn, i sit alone i cant even comb through my hair its not been cut in 7 years, I'm just a mess. I can't believe a husband and doctor would treat their wife this way. He should understand people get sick i know he hears it all day but its not my fault, I'm afraid I'm gonna end up homeless or die in this little room i live in and never have had a chance to live and see the world, i live off my tv, its the only voices i hear except if he screams at me. Please help me...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): Get to a women's shelter and get some help. I would hope that several of your 5 kids are around and can be of assistance.
If you're married you will inherit a good portion of the estate, and odds are that he can not legally change this unless you have willingly signed documents allowing him to. Think about it- otherwise every jerk husband that was about to leave his wife would pull this stunt... it's NOT legally possible.
I also agree with whom ever said you have nothing to loose by leaving with the cloths on your back. Get out, get help, and start to recover from these years of abuse.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): Tell your kids to help you. Get out of there you dnt have to be there and being bother and abuse. Leave there's plenty help you can get. Get up start a new life its his fault be strong. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): You don't deserve this. No one deserves this. He no longer loves you. If you leave you will eventually get better, if you stay you will only get more and more down in the dumps. You have to make this move.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 Contact your children for help. Also look up public services for help. I am sorry I can not help you more. Do you have your own doctor that treats your disease? Or just a doctor you go to? Could you explain him/her your situation and that you are not getting the help you need at home?
Also: how can a husband just take the name off of everything? I do not think it is legal, not do I think he has. Are you sure he is not just telling you he has? As his wife you have your rights too. Figure out what rights to property and money you do have. As you are married, all that is made in the household while married should be 50% yours too. If you bought the house together after you were married, it should be yours too, and nothing he does can just "write you off it". He does not have the authority to do so. I don't buy that he can. You need to get more information on what exactly he is capable of doing, and what your rights are.
Try social services, give them a call and explain your situation. There are other helplines you can call, but you have to look them up yourself to find the one who is right for you and where you live.
But do contact your children, they are your family too, and as long as you have them you are not without family.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): You are being abused.
Leave. You already have nothing, what would you lose if you left?
A loving spouse? No.
Security? No.
Happiness? No.
You are living the worst possible case scenario right now. Contact your local domestic abuse advocacy group and they will provide you with the support and resources you need to reclaim your life. They will help you find therapy, emergency shelter and even employment.
You are not helpless. Do not give up. It's never too late to start anew.
You were a vibrant woman before him. You will be a vibrant woman without him.
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