A
female
age
36-40,
*hrissy1986
writes:Okay I read my husbands messenger conversations, and well he told his ex that he was no longer attracted to me and the only reason he wont leave me is because of 2 year old. I confronted him and he told me that he was just being a jerk and it was all lies. I dont know what to belive because it seems like we are growing apart. On top of all that he said that he wishes they were still together and when told her how nice her boobs were, and when he ended the conversation he said he loved her. I want to belive him but I cant and now i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, Chrissy1986 +, writes (10 December 2008):
Chrissy1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the question First off I want to thank everyone who replied to this. Despite everyone telling me to leave him I didn't, we talked more about what had happened. What we got out of the discussion is he wont talk to her without saving the conversations so I can read them later if I feel that i need to. Actually since the incident we have never been closer he is so affectionate, more then he was when we first got together. i especially thank Sarahha for her response, I now know that i am not the only person who went through a difficult time like that, your story made my day thank you.
A
female
reader, Sarahha  +, writes (10 December 2008):
This really touched home with me. Recently, my husband did something very simialr to me. He talks to his Ex on the phone and takes care of her little 7 year old daughter. He speaks to his Ex as if she is a "Great Friend." One day I was talking with his Ex and she told me that he told her that he "doesn't care if I leave him because he wants to continue being her little girls "dad."'I couldn't believe what she was telling me. SO I asked him if he said such a thing. He denied it to the bone. He says she is lying. Well, I called him on it and confronted her on the phone while on speaker phone. We were both able to discuss the issue with her -together-. The phone call lasted a few minutes, and the results were devastating. He did tell her this about me!I felt very betrayed and heartbroken. I was VERY angry. I LOVE my husband SO VERY MUCH! I thought he felt the same about me. Well let me tell you, Actions speak a lot louder then words, and his actions since this incident has showed me to love and trust him even more now. I believe he was only trying to make her happy at the moment and said something he didn't mean. (We all say things we don't mean.) After this tragic event, we discussed it and we agreed that he will NEVER talk to his Ex without me. He will speak to her on speaker phone when he does call in order to speak to her daughter. If you truely love your husband, give him a chance to prove his loyalty to you. If he is willing to do everything you ask, then his heart is yours. He needs to do everything to make you feel better about his relationship with you and his Ex. Good Luck on Everything!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Will you ever believe a word he says again? How dare he discuss how he feels about you with his ex - pathetic coward. It would be different if he confided in a male friend that he was worrying about whether your relationship was as strong any more - but this is clearly him emotionally cheating (and what else....) You will live a paranoid life if you stay with him and deserve so much more than that prison sentence. I am with the other posts - get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): This is a horrible, horrible thing to do. If it was me, I would dump him immediately. When the trust is gone- you've got nothing. Sorry, I am not a fan of women doing what they can to save the relationship when the man has proved to be a complete ass. I know you have a child, but it is better for your child to see their mom living a happy life with dignity than to be in a shame marriage with a man who doesn't respect her. Good luck and be strong.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 You've caught him red handed havent you. Tell him to go to back to her and he can see the 2 year old at weekends. There! Problem solved. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (6 December 2008):
I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him at this point.
If he wants to stay with you then he has a LOT of work to do to make it up to you and prove that he does love you.
If he really was just there for the kid would you let him stay around? Or would you show him the door.
Prepare for the worst but let him have a chance before you kick him out.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): I'm so sorry this is happening to you, My heart goes out to you! I have experienced that kind of betrayal in the past and it hurts like hell!
I wouldn't believe him either, and I wouldn't trust him! He got caught and now he's lying to protect himself!
If it were me, I would tell him..."I don't believe you, you have broken our trust! How do I know if you were lying then or if you are lying NOW? One way or the other You have shown me that you are capable of lying!"
If you want to try to save your marriage, remember it takes two. You can't do it alone. As a matter of fact it may take three...you may need a marriage counselor.
You probably know in your gut whether he is lying to you, so take it from there and do some real soul-searching!
Remember that staying together for the kids sake never works...it does more damage to see their parents in heated arguments (or worse) then to have Mommy & Daddy living apart but both equally loving them!
I hope I have helped, keep us posted!
Good Luck and Best Wishes!
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