A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Need advise please, I'm a very happy person with 3 kids until one of my husband female friends decided to email my husband on an email we both get acsess to badmouthing me "his wife" trying to tell him I'm crazy jelous...., I confronted him about it cause I wanted to know why the Hell she think of me like that when she does not know anything about me? Same chick have tried to call him I answer his phone she immiadetly hang up on me. I was heart broken cause they used to call talk to him about their drama and I told him already whatever he do...do not talk about me to them and our problems and he promised me he will not...I don't like sharing my problems with other people Especially the opposite sex, even my male friends I don't even talk to them about my problems.he change his number and emails and even delete Facebook ...he was trying to prove a point to me but it's not working I tried to forgive him But I just can't, times passed I grow to hate him Cause he allow his female friends to disrespect me I however make sure my male friends knows there's a limit and a line they don't need to cross but he did the opposite. I'm angry cause im the type of person that if i dont want it happen to me I will not gonna do that to another person eg..I have great respect to my male friends wifes or girlfriends, I know I don't like it when other women calls my husband all the time asking for advice or just to talk cause they are bored... so I don't call my male friends at all to a point we don't stay contact at all which It don't bother me, but I don't understand why he just have to talk to these drama queens, I told him I'm going to call one of my male friends I found on Facebook and tell him what a piece of shit a husband he is to see how he likes that and just to get even, he said he's ashamed of himself and will not going to do it again, I feel betrayed and I don't trust him anymore I hate to be disrespected by strangers cause I don't do that to anyone I don't know. This makes me angry for no reason lots of times everytime I think about it, is there anyone who have the same situation as me? I don't know why I'm so angry
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2012): I wrote this so my answer to it would be, I answered his phone cause he told me to answer it , I told him she hung up on me and his respond was "REALLY?" so I just laughed it off.She call again after 30 minutes he told me to answer it..we were watching TV he want to see if she hangs up on me again ....YEP she hung up on me again, he said he's confused why his friend did that cause she told him she would LOVE to meet his wife and kids one day, everything was ok in our marriage until they mentioned me to him that I'm jealous and hung up on me that makes me angry cause my husband is worse than me I don't contact my male friends cause we use to fight about it which I think its stupid so I just don't talk to them anymore plus I want them moved on with their life's with their new partner.I'm ok with him having female friends only thing I don't like about my husband is when someone ask a question to him he is the type of man that don't when to shut up its very annoying he even tell his guy friends about me (secret) one of them told me..At least they are cool unlike the unfriendly girls who dislike me for no reason, he is 5 years older than me his friends are all older than me I was hoping they are more mature when it comes to trying to know me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2012): I would be more concerned about why your husband feels so negatively about you in the first place,obviously he and his women friends have a supportive relationship if they care enough about him that when he's very upset they get angry at whoever is making him upset (in this case it's you). Why does he feel more supported and validated by those women friends than he does by you? could it have anything to do with how you have treated him in the past? Why are YOU not his best friend, but someone else is? and yet you said that up until this one incident you were "very happy". well, apparently while you were being very happy, he was feeling very negatively about you. There is some long-standing disconnect here.the fact that you answered his phone shows that you are controlling. People don't like to be controlled in their relationships. the more you try to control someone, the more they'll resent you. you may have a lot of respect for your male friends' wives/gf's, but do you treat your own husband with respect too? Does he feel validated and supported by you? Or does he feel controlled and oppressed by you and the only people who validate and support him are his women friends?
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (16 November 2012):
 I agree your husband has shown lack of respect by bad mouthing you to other woman. But what I find strange is why this lady calls and hang up on you if she is just friends with your husband? Are you sure they are just friends? I think she is making a play for your husband hence sending that kind of emails and the calls.
You need to decide if you want your marriage, then take a stand, no more "helping" these kind of woman.
Also do you want to throw your marriage away over this? If not you need to forgive and let go but set the limits. You need to consider your three kids. Goodluck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): You have a right to vent.. And I think you need time to calm down and then have a nice chat with your husband say to him, how much it hurt and why would this girl think such things? Let him answer, we know the answer though in anger at some fall out you two have had he has vented his frustrations about you to her, therefore clouding her judgement of you...
But with open communication you two can put this experience behind you and move on.. I'm married have been with my partner for 24 years since I was 14ish and one thing we don't have is opposite sex as friends.. He has his buddies and me my girls.. I do have male who I speak to occasional on the passing but they are not friends in any shape or form just acquaintances that's it..
He did a not wise thing telling his female friend whatever it was, but it's done and he has now broken ties with her??
You have to let him know that it's ok to speak to females general but no calling the house, or meeting an occasional update text about their life's is ok as long as its not every day, etc, and it focus on what their doing not your hubby.. Etc..
You have every rig to stand your ground, he's your man, and if you two have issues tell him to address it with you first ..
Hope this helps..
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