A
female
age
41-50,
*eace143
writes:husband says i take advantage of him. i hurts my feelings. everyday he gets mad and tells me that.. im a stay at home mom of 3 ages 5 to 10.. i try to make everyone happy. but husband is not happy. he tells me he loves me then uts me down. i dont now what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (2 March 2016):
I always maintain that if I get married and have kids, if money allows me to, I'll be happy to stay at home and raise the kids until maybe they start school. Depends on how my husband feels too. But after that I'd like to go back to work.In some relationships, both parents have to work either out of choice or lack of money. Both my parents worked full time. Every relationship is different and it's important both partners make clear who'll be going to work or not. What are your reasons for being a sahm? If you have valid reasons e.g lack of child care, then your husband should be more understanding. If you both work then who'll look after the kids? Also in what way are you supposed to be taking advantage of him? A marriage is about two people and even sahm's contribute to a marriage. You need to sit him down and find out what his concerns are? Is it money, stress or does he feel simply put out by the situation? Unfortunately some men can be insensitive. A female workmate of mine told me once that after she'd had her 2 kids and stayed at home looking after them, her husband accused her of sitting around at home doing nothing all day! How rude!!! She says he even brought home his football (soccer) team's kits for her to wash one day. Why? He said there was no point paying a professional to clean them when his darling wife was at home doing nothing! Umm...she was looking after his 2 kids. Douche bag!He was in the military and in a high rank so he was making about $30-50.000 a year. So she could afford to stay at home. She gave him hell over this but admitted to me he was now her ex because he was plain selfish and insensitive generally. Hopefully your hubby isn't like him. But do talk it out with him.
A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (2 March 2016):
Give him the kids for a fortnight and you work and let's see what he says after that .. I bet it will be more appreciation for how you run a household and the effort and management that takes . Three kids are hard work .
Say to him that ..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 March 2016):
 You need to sit him down and talk.
Being a SAHM should be a joint decision and if (let's say) financially it makes it VERY hard for HIM to be the sole bread-winner - maybe consider a half-day job while the kids are at school.
Why is he mad? Is it stress or he is just a mean/rude person?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 March 2016):
 Well the question is what do you want to do about it? Are your children at school? Maybe you could get a day time job when they are out, something part time, therefore you could earn your own money while also getting out of the house for a while?
You need to talk to your husband about how you feel. He may be feeling the pressure of providing for everyone and he is taking his stress out on you. Talk to each other, and come up with a solution together.
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