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My husband said to me today that he expects he will have a commode and a colostomy bag in 10 years time, and probably Alzheimer's as well.

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Question - (2 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm 24, and my new husband's 25. We've been married for 3 months now.

My husband said to me today that he expects he will have a commode and a colostomy bag in 10 years time, and probably Alzheimer's as well. He said he doesn't want to be this way, but he thinks it's just the way the future will be.

I asked him why he thought this, and he said that, although no-one in his family has suffered from the disease, he just thinks that's what his fate will be in a decade from now.

I said to him it was all right, and not to worry, but he's started to change a lot - and it's got me wondering what's up.

He used to be fairly active - going to the local swimming centre, cycling - but has now given those up fearing they'll give him Alzheimer's disease and that they'll make him end up on a commode anyway. In fact the only things he hasn't given up are going to work, helping around the house, and watching television.

I've tried everything to help him, but I'm starting to get on edge and stressed - not the same thing as fed up (I love him a lot) but don't know where to turn or who to go to.

I would appreciate all your advice - it would be very helpful.

Alison B from England

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009):

OMG! He's 25 years old! He is definitely suffering from some sort of mental disorder. He really needs to see a therapist. But a medical doctor would probably recognize that and refer him to one so...it would probably be easier to get him to a medical doctor for a check-up. If you could speak with the doctor confidentially before his visit (just to give him a heads up on the actual problem) It sounds like depression to me!!!!! Untreated, it will only get worse!

You said you've only been married for 3 months...I'm not a professional but I'm thinking he feels his life is over now that he is married. He will just get sick and die! He needs help! I hope you will insist on it. I don't want to distress you more than you already are but do you think there is a chance he regrets getting married? You may want to ask him that. It could be the source of all these feelings of doom. I know it would be hard for you to ask for fear of his answer. But if you just let this go it will only get worse and you will be miserable too!

I wish you luck, and I hope my suspicions are dead wrong! Honestly, I do!

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A female reader, OSCARS MUMMY United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2009):

OSCARS MUMMY agony aunthis fear will lead to him becomming depressed if hes not depressed already - he needs to see a doctor - the least they will do is monitor his progress and advise him on the best ways to keep healthy - make sure he does this please as otherwise things will not get easier for you and he will drag you down with him - maybe speak to a family member who he would listen to and get some back-up from them. It annoys me when people are ill or think they are but wont see a doctor but this is much more serious his fear is taking over his life - dont let it - if it come down to it contact the doctor yourself and see if they will come to see him???

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