A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:while we were arguing, my husband told me this "I should've not married you". Did you think he meant that? He said he just said it coz he was mad at me but I kinda felt like we are about to get divorce. Idk what to do. if I will save this marriage I might end up left Venus or something. I am scared of what our marriage will face. Pls help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): depends on your husband's personality. for example I been married 12 years (together 18 years) and NEVER ONCE have I ever said anything like that nor has my husband, and we been through some very rough times where I almost divorced him. even when I was seriously ready to divorce him (went to a lawyer even) I still never said that. when we were in marriage counseling I did admit that I wish I hadn't stayed this long, but I never said "I wish I never married you".but some people just like to be dramatic and say stuff they dont' mean but just to get your attention or because they don't know how else to express their anger and frustration.some people love to threaten divorce for every argument to try and manipulate their partner to get their way. but if you call them out on it they won't go through with divorce.others - like me - do not even mention the word divorce unless we are dead serious about following through on it. I treat words like bullets, I don't say things that I'm not prepared to back up with my actions or defend in a court of law. but not everyone is like that, some people love to exaggerrate or are inept at expressing themselves and only know how to do so by being overly dramatic.I think you just need to know your husband's personality to know if he's serious when he says this or not.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (29 August 2011):
He said what was in his heart and that thought been there. You force out what he really want to say for sometime now.It will take both of you to save this relationship, but it may fail down the road.
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson  +, writes (29 August 2011):
People do say a lot of things they don't mean in the heat of an argument so there is a chance he didn't mean it (though it was clearly a hurtful thing to say and I don't condone it).Can you tell us more about your marriage? More information would be helpful in order to give you better advice.In the meantime approach him calmly and ask him about it, make sure he feels comfortable and do not catch him off guard, it can happen that when a woman tries to approach a man about a problem like this he just feels accused and so becomes harder to talk to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): It's definitely a red flag. But some people are stupid and say things they really don't mean.
However, the fact he said it; definitely suggests there are aspects of the relationship that need work. or something that he feels is lacking. I suggest, later, when you are both happy and on good terms.
Explain you want this marriage to work, and ask him to tell you what he thinks you both can improve on. Above all, COMMUNICATE! But do so lovingly and without being defensive. Either one of you. Listen openly to what the other person has to say and work on it.
Good luck
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