A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My name is Linda* and my husband and i have been married for nearly two years. Before we got married and were also engaged, he broke up with me. I tried unsuccessfully for eight consecutive months to try and get him to stay. I'd mostly given up but then he proposotioned me to try the realationship again. so we got married. Recently, though my habits for reharshing the past, i found out that he did not want to get married to me because he still didn't want to be in the relationship. He told me that he had felt forced and felt that my happiness was in his hands so he did.I am living a lie!!! and on one of the happiest days of my life, my wedding day...but he's okay in the relaionship now.I'm still hurt though.what do i do?
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female
reader, nicola79  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 yes i think i would be hurt as well. this is something i just couldnt forget. i hope with all my heart that he loves you and is glad now that he married you.
i think i would have to sit him down and ask how he feels about your relationship now,because even though your his wife,you are not his door mat.
if he says that he does love you and he is happy he married you then maybe you could be more forgiving than me and re build your trust for him. but if he is still having doubts then i would say that maybe you need a little bit of time apart to see how you both feel then.
i hope so much that you get the ansew you want,i am thinking of you. nicola.xxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (21 May 2007):
 OK you have dragged up the past and you have got some honest answers by the sounds of it.
Your husband felt pushed into marriage, a lot of men say that they are never ready for it but sometimes they just take the plunge.
Just a query here? What has made you drag up the past now - 2 years on?
Are you unhappy?
So you may have had a shock about how he felt back then but he has said now that he is happy and that comes from being in a happy and content relationship.
Every relationship has it's ups and downs and whilst you say you are hurt, isn't it better for him to say OK I wasn't convinced then about us but I am NOW?
Don't dwell on this as it will sour the relationship you have now with him.
Personally I feel that you are trying to provoke a reaction out of him here and is it the fighting to save your relationship that you feel more alive with, like when you tried to get him back before you got married?
Are you in a bit of a rut at the moment in your eyes and you want a little more excitement?
You have had honesty and whilst it hurts for a bit you have to think I would prefer honesty any day to deceit, lies and unfaithfulness so if this is something you feel you cannot move past, perhaps you need to discuss this together with a couple counsellor or something as it will otherwise fester and only damage the relationship.
I wish you well and we are all here to help in whatever way we can. I hope my opinions are not offending in any way, just my thoughts that's all.
Take care and all the very best to you both.
BFN
Country Woman
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