A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband recently confessed to me that when he was young he was offered a blowjob by a friend and said the ONLY reason he said no was that his friend wanted to record it. He even admitted if that was not the case he might have tried it on his friend just to see what it's like.WTF? Who does that? He said he's not gay or even bi and that he was just curious but that's disgusting. I have nothing against same sex relationships but at what point do you decide it's ok to let a friend suck you off? I'm disgusted with my husband, and feel like he's lying to me about his sexuality and this was just his way of letting me know gradualy that he's bi. Why didn't he tell me this before we got married? I don't know if I even trust him anymore.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021): Get over it, did not happen. Keep it up and he will never share again with you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 December 2021):
 If this happened prior to marriage, I don't really see a HUGE issue.
It doesn't make him gay.
It makes him curious.
I think the idea that MEN would give a VERY different blow job than a woman is probably a bit "interesting" for some men. That the sensation would be very different and then add the "taboo" (for a straight-ish) man - I can see why SOME men might be curious.
There is a huge difference from DOING it to being curious about it.
He says if the dude hasn't asked to film it, it might have done it. However, he might not.
You ask:" at what point do you decide it's ok to let a friend suck you off?" Yeah, that is a weird thing but I think WAY more common than we all might think. A friend would have been someone "safe" to experiment with at a younger age. Same for women. I recall some of my female friends who only dated men, having these kissing/make-out sessions when drunk in public. I did find it odd, but whatever. They were single at the time.
Does it mean that your husband is BI? Not necessarily.
It means that he was (and maybe still is) curious.
Also, being BI doesn't mean he can't be faithful or trustworthy.
He shared something deeply personal with you and you are now disgusted with him. Seems like HE can't trust you either.
Should he have kept his mouth shut, probably? Not sure how this came up in conversation in the first place.
The thing is, HE DIDN'T ACT on it.
He could have been curious about sex with a prostitute or trying heroine. He could have been curious about skydiving.
IF all this happened BEFORE you and he were an item, I don't really see the big deal. He is still the same person, he just revealed something from his youth that made a big impression on him.
I CAN understand that it feels weird to hear something about him you never knew and that YOU don't feel is an attractive trait. So you have to figure out WHAT to do with that. Maybe talk to him some more?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2021): How old was he when he almost accepted his friend's offer? I could see an unhappy young straight guy possibly accepting when he was too immature to attract any girls. Similarly I have heard of very old straight men accepting BJ's from gay men because they are still horny but can't find a woman.
If your husband is not seeking out men or gay porn then he is probably straight.
Personally I think the phrase "more mystery, less history" is beneficial to relationship longevity.
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