A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi!I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, living together for over a year.I have to say I had always have more sex drive than him, I am 36 yr, he is 42. But in recent times, I have became very aware of the frequency of sex we are having. From 3 times a week, it has been dropping to 1 or 2, and when this happens it is normally me who initiates. Sometimes I have the feeling he is doing just not to see me upset. He is complaining I am putting far too much pressure on having sex, and the truth is that I can't help being moody with him every time it has been few days since last time we have done it. He says to be put off for this reason, it doesn't seem natural for him anymore to have sex as he feels I am counting the days for the next intercourse.I need to say he is working from home, and I am working only few hours a week as I had an injury last year. He senses I am not giving him enough space as I am around the house most of the time, as he does, difference is that he is working from home. I try not to disturb when he works though.Also just to mention, that we had many arguments about his use of porn, I have found out that days that he may had rejected me for sex, he had seen porn after and masturbated, which makes me feel even more rejected, and I end up being more demanding with him.The excuse not to do it lately goes from I am stressed, tired, you are always around, I can feel the pressure in the air, and so on... until the point he had told me he is losing attraction to me because of all this pressure.Help! Because I don't want to lose him, but I would like my sex life with him back.
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porn, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 February 2015):
 sounds to me like you have differing drives.
frustrating isn't it?
I'm 54 and my hubby is 41 and my drive is much higher than his (as it is for most of my women friends, I do not understand why men complain about women losing their drive when I see the complete opposite in my personal experiences)
I tease him about sex but I'm resigned to a sexless marriage at this point as he's working on a lot of things.
I have a friend however who has not had sex in over a year. she won't leave her husband but she's really frustrated. I told her to ask him for permission to take a lover. (if you have permission it's not cheating)
if he is not stressed, and nothing is impacting on him other than moving in as a change, then accept that this is how it's going to be and you have to decide if you want to stay with him or not.
You can't force someone to have sex when they don't want to.
A
male
reader, dayvide  +, writes (20 February 2015):
 Hi , I think you guys really need to have a heart to heart convo over this issue. Try not to be pushy or counting the number of times you guys have sex weekly as that will be putting lot of pressure and strain on him and in the worst case scenario he might loose his erection with you if the pressure is too much on him.. Also sex is not just physical, its also mental. Try dressing up sexy, flirt with him, tease him about what he's missing and rekindle romantic evenings all these help to put the mind n soul in good sex mood.. About him wanking because of too much porn you can tell him you would enjoy it if you both see the porn together and tease him about how much you wanna do everything in the porn with him. Next time he thinks of seeing porn he'll rather you are there so you both can feel it togerher..Never give up on your man, keep trying and always encourage him in no time am sure you would even be the one begging him to reduce the sex.. All the best
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A
male
reader, Kohayleth +, writes (20 February 2015):
he is in a rut, you need to back off. Maybe be seductive in your manner and turn him down a few times.
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