A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 5 years has suddenly asked me to stick my finger up his butt while going down on him. Does this mean he is gay? Why does he want me to do this? I asked him won't this hurt you and he said your fingers aren't that big it will feel good.. So I am a little confused... Does he not like the things I already do for him? He never goes down on me.. Why? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Turbojugend  +, writes (24 October 2016):
My wife first did this to me 6 years ago completely out of the blue.
I really enjoyed it, and the ejaculation was insane, but was shocked she had actually done it. She told me after that I had shown no emotion and was upset that I hadn't enthused about it.
I keep asking her to do it again, moving her hands towards my ass when she is giving head, but she hasn't as yet done it again.
I'm tempted to buy some beads or a plug but would she think I'm weird?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2014): I like anal at too, I'm a 30 year old married guy with no interest in men, but when my wife uses a vibrator or strapon on me it's amazing. I see stars when I cum and she is blowing me and using a toy. When she used a strapon on me it gave me multiple orgasms, never had anything do that before.My wife was not comfortable using fingers on me, I offered her gloves but she still didn't like the idea. She uses toys and is ok with that. As for why he won't go down on you I can't really help, I go down on my wife every chance I get, I love it. She often refuses to let me lick her, I suspect she feels she is dirty, she's not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): I just randomly stuck my fingers in my husbands anus as he began to ejaculate while i was giving him special attention. His ejaculation was so powerful and he screamed very very loudly. I thougt I hurt him, but he said he had never felt that much pleasure before. Every time we have sex now he wants me to play with his anus
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): First, there are gay and straight men who enjoy anal stimulation and gay and straight men who don't like it, so it has no connection whatsoever to a person's sexual orientation.
Straight men may be less comfortable admitting they find anal stimulation pleasurable.
When a man enjoys it, it is extremely pleasurable and can produce a powerful orgasm.
I doubt your husband is gay. It sounds like he is simply becoming more aware of his body and less fearful of superficial social stigma.
As for not going down on you, it may not be his thing. Sexual tastes are highly diverse. You might simply want to ask him too. An honest question and answer might ease your anxiety.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): No it doesn't mean he is gay.
It's not strange in my books for a man to enjoy that sort of thing. My bf loves annal play if you get the right spot you can stimulate the prostate which gives men great pleasure. You don't even have to go all the way in just around the outside can be pleasurable for them.
Hope this helps
Have fun.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (14 August 2007):
Never done it myself, but supposedly if you can get to the prostate you can hit a "male G-Spot." I've also heard that if timed right, a finger up there can make a man shoot across the room, but it doesn't feel good after.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): I dont think hes gay!!! I just think he wants to go outside of the box. Something new to try...new feelings go through the body when new places are touched!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): I can only say that a married guy I was with for a couple of years seemed to think I was the best thing since sliced bread, partly because I paid attention to his ass. He never even asked me to do it - I just guessed. My other guess is that he was embarassed to talk about it with his wife -- maybe because she would say he was gay -- who knows -- and she never considered that he would be interested in that. While our thing was going on the sex was good - I loved driving him crazy in a way that I suspected not too many women had known he would like.
Why he won't go down on you is another question. If you are the one servicing him and he is not reciprocating, well, that is just bad in a lot of ways, and I don't have a bunch of experience, but I have never found the right way to deal with what I perceive to be a lack of respect and appreciation except to just leave the guy. If you have to explain it to him, he will never understand.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (14 August 2007):
 You would need to ask him why he never goes down on you, and as for the finger up the bum thing i think it one of those things that some men just don't like freely admitting to liking because of the stigma that could be attached to it.
It was years before my husband told me that he liked that, and i'm totally cool with that, over the years our sex life has just got better and better because you just become more relaxed with each other and you can do want you really want and not feel embarrased about it.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Not at all... The rectum is a form a stimulation for the male. It's not really my thing, but it's supposed to work...
DV1
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