A
female
age
36-40,
*rincipleOfEvil
writes:I’m at a bit of a loss. I posted earlier about my husband’s obsessive use of porn as well as masturbating to pictures of his ex. Since that post he’s been caught two more times looking at porn. I haven’t seen anything more on his ex…but I could just be missing it. Today was the most recent fight over porn. I found out that he had been looking up porn and doing his thing while our 15 month old daughter was in the room. I was in the shower and he was supposed to be watching her. Instead of spending time with her he put on Tinkerbell (which usually causes my daughter to become zombie like and not care about anything around her) Even if she didn’t see or notice anything it really hit me hard…He tells me he’ll stop…but never does…It’s killing our marriage. I suspected something was wrong because lately I haven’t been able to get him off…My self-esteem is crushed…I can spend an hour doing all that I can but a porn flick will get him off in like 5 min. I have some chub but I’ve done some plus size modeling and think I look pretty good. I’m just not those women and I will never be them…and it feels like that’s what he wants…even though he says he does find me attractive…I don’t know what to do…I see him ogling other women…even if their face leaves something to be desired as long as they’re really thin and have a nice rack he’s can’t keep himself from drooling…If that’s what he wanted…why go after me…I feel like he settled for me…
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female
reader, HiImNicole +, writes (27 March 2010):
Sweetie please do not blame you. You have done modeling that tells me something and I think it should give you some assurance that you are beautiful. Your baby should not be near that behavior. He is supposed to be her dad! Dads dont do that.! I would leave and tell him to get help so your baby doesnt get subjected to that behavior. Tell him to get help and you both will come home. You should not have to be put in such a bad situation. Him putting you and your baby in a bad situation is not love and caring. He needs help to see that. Your a strong woman and I praise you for all you are dealing with and are still trying to work on your marriage and help your husband. But sweetie he needs more help and your baby needs you. I wish you luck and hope I didnt insult you or hurt your feelings at all. Stay strong.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): do not devalue yourself, remember that you are amazing and strong and he cannot make you feel inferior. instead of thinking about what your missing, think about what you have, that all those girls are missing. you dont need him to determine how you feel about yourself. i went through something similar, but in teenage version. i learned to love myself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 November 2009):
God, he has a serious addiction! And I mean serious. Rhythm's completely right. He either has to get help, or you have to divorce him, because you can't have your child living in a house where he's watching porn and masturbating openly. There's nothing wrong wth you at all, it's all him. Give him the ultimatum.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): The two previous posters have hit the nail right on the head. Listen to them!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Your husband's porn addiction has nothing to do with how you look.
I would tell him that he has to get some help, he needs counseling. He truly has an addiction.
If he can't change his behavior, this would be a deal breaker for me just as if he were addicted to drugs. What I mean is I would get a D I V O R C E.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): Without even knowing you, I can safely say, there is nothing wrong with you :) There is, however, something seriously wrong with him! For him to masterbate with your daughter in the room is disturbing, you have every right to be upset about this. I think for him to need to jerk off so badly that he can't wait and does it with his daughter in the room indicates he has a serious problem.If it was a mother doing this with her child in the room, you would probably have no doubt in your mind that there is a serious issue. Since you love this man however, you have doubts about your feelings and need validation...well, you got it. Tell your husband he needs couseling or you will protect your daughter by leaving with her. Please don't give him a chance to do this again!
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