A
female
age
36-40,
*amantha123456
writes:Hi, I have been married to my husband for 4 years. His a really good guy but looks at porn every day. The main issue is that it's teen porn. The girls in these sites look too young. In worried that it's a problem, especially since its everyday and always teens. He types in google (on his phone) hot teen pics, teen tits etc. should I be worried? I'm a very sexual person too so it's not like he doesn't get any.It makes me very self conscious. What is going on?? Please help as I can't stop thinking about it.
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female
reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 I'd run for the hills if I were you. Despite the girls in porn probably being old enough, he is desiring a young teen and in this country, having sex with a minor is still illegal. Unfortunately, he's watched too much porn and is now finding this genre exciting. In America, there is a programme called "To catch a Predator" - which is all about porn watching men who have taken it one step further, and have liaised with teens for sex, only they get caught before anything happens. Porn seems to make this acceptable and it isn't My chap watched porn for a while (not teenagers) and it was a dealbreaker for me and I gave him an ultimatum. Our relationship has improved since doing this! I think it's a very sad indicator of society that young, impressionable women who should be protected, can be taken advantage of by older men who should know better. Could you see yourself looking up images of supposedly very young men and finding them attractive?? I am hoping the answer would be no. If it is no, then you need to have another chat with your man.
A
female
reader, samantha123456 +, writes (25 April 2012):
samantha123456 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThose answers have helped sooo much. I love hearing from the guys point of view. I think I just need to calm down a bit a bit and realize how much he actually does love me and not look in the 'teen' thing so much. I have to get used to it I think. My main thought is that he would leave me and leave me for a young girl. The pics he looks at isnt 'child' porn otherwise I wouldnt be here, but they are still young. I think the best thing for me to do is stop looking at his phone, stop being paranoid then maybe I can feel like my confident self again. Because yeah it does make me feel 100% insecure, jealous and feel threatened by it. Time to move on I think (I dont mean leave him, just stop thinking about it) and forcus on myself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): "I dont want to make excusses for him I just want to feel as though this isnt a stepping stone to him cheating or leaving me for someone else."
That's definitely not the case, porn is not a stepping stone to cheating at all. In fact a lot of guys say it's the opposite, they get to see other girls naked from time to time without ever crossing any boundaries or ever wanting to cross any boundaries.
"We are trying to have a baby now, if it turns out to be a girl I dont know what I would do."
No offence OP but that's a very irrational thought. Are these girls on his phone prepubescent? Is he looking at child porn? Because if he is report him but teen porn is not child porn OP. It's nothing near child porn so I don't know why you fear for your daughter, are you scared your father wants to fuck you? I mean he's attracted to women isn't he and you're a woman? If not then why not? Because it doesn't work like that does it? So stop thinking that way OP he's not some kind of devious pervert, he's just a regular adult. Unless the stuff he's looking at is illegal.
"Now when I go out to the shops etc, I wouldnt before but now I look at the young girls and notice that he makes a big effort not to look."
Of course he does. OP have you seen what teen girls wear these days? Hot pants, see through tops, etc. They practically walk around naked, most of us guys see that and most of us will do our best not to keep looking because it's not allowed but a hell of a lot will anyway. OP you remember what it was like to be a teenage girl right? You couldn't leave the house without cars honking or guys commenting and staring. When I head into town shopping with my sister she gets ogled and honked at all the time and she's 17.
Knowing all this OP, knowing that is quite common and normal then why are you freaking out? Why do you think he's some kind of paedo or sexual deviant? Most guys watch porn of some kind and teen is the most popular genre and even regular "vanilla" porn is of young women early 20's. Most us are going to see those groups of teen girls walking around with practically nothing on, bouncing around and those of us in relationships are going to have the decency not to look while our girlfriends are around. Of course you notice this more now because you're paranoid.
I think you're freaking out for reasons you won't admit, I think it makes you insecure, jealous and you feel threatened by it, and it's fine to feel that way OP you're not alone in that regard but you need to stop blowing this out of proportion and educate yourself on the issue and stop jumping to conclusions that aren't based on fact. If it's making you feel this bad then you have every right to ask him to stop but you really need to get your head around this first and stop being irrational. How can he listen to you and take you seriously when you're scared he's a paedophile? When you think he's going to cheat? When you're actually in such a crazy state of mind you have it in your head that he may end up sexually attracted to his own daughter? That's fucking insane talk OP and there is no chance in hell you'rein the right frame of mind to have a rational, coherent discussion with him on the topic, you're obsessed and it's making you think mad things.
So take a step back, read up on porn, read up on the popularity of the teen genre, ask friends about porn talk to people and stop all this ridiculous assumptions stuff and figure out what the real issue is her for you, so that you can approach him in a clam rational way and ask him to stop.
Because honestly OP if my girlfriend came crying to me thinking I'm a paedophile that might rape my own daughter or thinks I'm on my way to cheating on her then I would quit walk away from the relationship and find a girl who doesn't think so badly of me and who doesn't assume the absolute worst about me and the worst case scenario in every situation.
So before you talk to him again, calm down, take your time to figure out why you're reacting this way and then you can approach him and tell him how you feel.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 "I just want to feel as though this isnt a stepping stone to him cheating or leaving me for someone else."
Porn is very rarely that. In some ways it can make a man less likely to cheat, but really it's not connected.
Porn can create gaps in a relationship however. If a man is getting his sexual kicks from it, it means he's not getting his sexual kicks from his partner. Which also leads to less intimacy and bonding. These things are important for the health of a relationship. I'd judge the situation based on your sex life: if you still feel that it's healthy and intimate then things are ok. If it's not, then focus on solving that, rather than worrying about the porn.
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A
female
reader, samantha123456 +, writes (24 April 2012):
samantha123456 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is that he doesnt do it at home, he does it when his at work on his phone. His a tradie so I guess he does it when his on his breaks or whenever. He doesnt do it on the home computer. I dont want to make excusses for him I just want to feel as though this isnt a stepping stone to him cheating or leaving me for someone else. We are trying to have a baby now, if it turns out to be a girl I dont know what I would do. This is seriously how I feel. I think it will either change his taste in porn and if it dosent I dont think I could stay in that type of relationship. Im so confussed?!! When I have brought it up to him before he said its because he likes small natural looking boobs and when you type 'small tits' in porn it comes up with older ladies with pretty much just nipple. It still worries me though that these girls look so young. Now when I go out to the shops etc, I wouldnt before but now I look at the young girls and notice that he makes a big effort not to look. WHat do I do? I dont want to have an another argument with him and if I bring it up he will know Iv been going through his phone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): I would not be comfortable with any of it. Someone who is watching porn everyday has a problem, especially someone who is married. And if he's arguing with you about it...well, there's another problem. He's in denial and doesn't want to hear it....red flag, big time.The teen part of it would only concern me if he was an older man, with children who could be in that age bracket. That would be very alarming, especially if those teen girls were in the home.I would keep a serious eye on this behavior.... if there comes a time when you are going to start a family....everything changes...I will bet you will feel very differently about "his porn habits", but it may not be something he will be able to get rid of because he is using so regularly. There comes a time when a man has to grow up and let this stuff go and become a responsible role model for his children...that kind of stuff would be completely out of line and unacceptable when and if you start a family and there are children who could one day get their hands on that stuff and see it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): If it will put your mind at ease OP just remember women wear schoolgirl, cheerleader, teenager etc outfits on Halloween for a reason. It's a very popular fantasy amongst men just like a rich older man like George Clooney is a popular fantasy amongst women. You may fantasize about Clooney or about guy with a body like Daniel Craig or Hugh Jackman or about a guy in uniform but that doesn't mean you're in any way disappointed because your husband is not a cop or something does it? Of course not because you don't compare your husband to any of them because he is who he is and if you wasn't enough you wouldn't have married him. Well the "teen" porn thing isn't a threat either because there is no way he is comparing.
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A
female
reader, samantha123456 +, writes (22 April 2012):
samantha123456 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much, those answers did make me feel a lot better. I think also I should stop looking into his phone history as it just upsets me. I don't have a problem with porn it's just the young girl thing and but the fact that his searching an actual genera that gets me. I have brought it up to him before but he just gets defensive and it ends up with us arguing, so I don't bring it up anymore.
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (22 April 2012):
Do you have a problem with his watching porn in general, or is it the genre? Bear in mind that people's taste in porn typically shifts over time, and sometimes escalates into harder stuff too.
Men often look at genres of porn that don't directly relate to their sexual tastes in a normal situation. I wouldn't be unduly worried about that genre in particular (there are much 'worse'), unless they look very under-aged.
In any case, if it's his looking at porn in general that bothers you, it may be time to have a direct conversation about it with him where you state how it's making you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): I think the answers to this question may be useful to you OP.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-boyfriend-watching-normal-porn.html
"Teen" porn is the most popular niche or porn OP. In itself it's nothing to be worried about and certainly not a reason to feel self-conscious. If it's having a negative impact on your sex life then that's something you must discuss with him. If you're okay with porn in general then don't let the "teen" niche bother you, it means nothing except the actresses are young looking. It's just harmless fantasy unless his use of it is making him neglect you.
You know you could feed his fantasy with schoolgirl or cheerleader uniforms and role play.
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A
female
reader, wingedlocket7 +, writes (22 April 2012):
You need to sort this out head on. sit down with your partner and explain to him how this behaviour makes you feel. everyday seems a bit extreme to me. you need to work on a solution with him and tell him that the type of porn makes you feel uncomfortable because of the age. i dont condem porn but personnally i cant stand the stuff.
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