A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my husband and i have been together for 7 years, married for 6. i love him with everything in me, he is my world. i know he loves me too, and we have a decent sex life and all of that, but he REFUSES to compliment me. this is something we've been going over and over since we've been married. before we got married, he always wrote me amazingly sweet emails and letters, but then when we got married we were together all the time so i guess he didn't feel like he had to. i've told him many times that i need to hear that he thinks i'm beautiful and that he really loves me (he'll say "i love you" after i say it, but that's about it) and if he can't say it out loud, he could write it to me. he says he's too embarassed to say things like that and can't even write them because he feels uncomfortable around me once i read it. i feel like i'm at my wit's end with this. we have a great life and i love him so much, but i want to feel beautiful. i haven't gained any weight since we've been married, i'm not smothering him, i have my own goals and am actually in the process of getting my masters degree as well as working my own business. i just see all these husbands who look at their wives lovingly and say how much they mean to them, and i'm scared i will live my whole life without ever having that. i know he does love me, but why is he so selfish? i do everything i know he likes, i want him to be happy and i try to love him the way he wants to be loved, but he just refuses to do the same for me. i know he shows love in other ways, but if you loved your wife, wouldn't you want to love her in the way she wanted it shown as well?!
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male
reader, urbanking99  +, writes (21 December 2008):
If you love someone enough you should tell them everyday, in word, thought action or deed.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): When you are in a life-long loving relationship you want to be showered with affection. Any man who doesn't understand that is a moron. That said, sadly, we live in a culture where men who show their emotions are considered weak, and "gay". Your husband needs to get over this trip and be man enough to tell you he loves you. Jesus, you aren't asking him make a public speech in the nude. I suggest counseling to help him get over his hang up. If he loves you enough and he knows it means that much to you he'll suck it up and learn how to be more affectionate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): Usually the wedding vows state 'I promise to love you'
He made these vows, so why are you doubting them?
Would you rather he said words and ommitted the actions?
You really are just spoiling for a fight.
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