A
female
age
41-50,
*odchild
writes:Help please.....my life has taken a complete turn. I was with my husband for nine years. Married for six.separated for two years. Well he left me two yrs ago. I died that day. Well I was so hurt and in grief I met someone whom I liked. My husband told me he wasn't coming back he sold his wedding band and everything for weed. We were constantly arguing about him not working and our child. Anyway I fell pregnant by the other guy and my husband told me not to do the divorce and to get rid of the child. With debating I had an abortion at eighteen weeks pregnant. I cried like a baby. And every time I look at my husband I was hurt from what I did. I kept running to the other guy for support. Husband told me that he will do right yet he still was doing the same ole stuff. this man hasn't changed and I have got rid of my baby. Anyway it was disappointing to watch him just take of himself and forget about our daughter. Even when tax time he got back 5400 I got ten dollars. So needless to say I went back to other guy and fell pregnant again. With abortion out the question I decided to be a woman and face the consequences in doing so I. Lost my husband and I'm dying inside. I keep trying to tell myself its not my fault but it is. I was vulnerable and I went to the other guy when I should have prayed for healing. Now husband is dating and still won't help me take care of our child. Before he said he will help me raise both kids said he was part of the reason why this all happen. So I took him to job interviews and got his car fixed he told me to let the other guy know that we are together and I did. Meanwhile I knew nothing about his new girl. So he broke it off with me and has not paid me anything for our child or the money he owes me. He contacted me and said he didn't want the divorce again. Then he change up again he was coming around and then I asked can you spend time with us. He said he couldn't cause if his girl find out she won't call him again. So I filed for the divorce but I don't want it. But I need to make sure our daughter is taken care of. I always took care of him when he didn't work and my step child too. Now he gets paid and gives me nothing. What should I do?
View related questions:
abortion, divorce, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): OP u honestly cannot Expect your hb to accept your lovers child. Really u cannot!
To be oregnant twice by your lover is Not the most clever thing now. But whats done is done so u have to make the best of this situation.
The best option is divorce i agree.
In the end BOTH u and your hb messed up.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Godchild +, writes (6 August 2011):
Godchild is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys are right. I have had time to heal from that abortion, and I refused to go through it again. I'm blessed to have a beautiful daughter and a son on the way. I'll be ok, and tough it out for my children, and you right been down a rough road its time to end it. That's why I filed, he clearly doesnt care for no one but self it time for me to wake up
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2011): I agree with 'Youwish'. You strike me as a very codependent personality. You just have to be with a man, even if he doesn't treat you well or even if you don't love him. You ex treated you horribly and you do not love your current boyfriend - otherwise you would not have had your boyfriends baby aborted for another man!!You need to go into counseling. There are some issues here you need to figure out. Divorce your ex. He sounds like a very poor catch and has lead you down a a tough road. Re-evaluate your current relationship - why are you with someone you do not love?Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 August 2011):
 Okay, you have got to finalize your divorce, get a lawyer, and file for spousal and child support. You also need to talk to someone, because you have an unhealthy view going when you're running back and forth to guys for approval to the point of aborting a child on a whim for an ex.
Seriously, get with a counselor, therapist, or psychologist. The fact that your ex is smoking weed constantly is very bad, and you having multiple children and aborting one just to get back with Mr. Weed Smoker is also indicative of a dependent personality. I cast no judgement on abortion itself or a woman's right to choose, but the reasons here are unhealthy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): The first thing you need to do is smarten up. Your husband would not have been able to hurt you this way had you not allowed it. And using another man as methadone isn't fair.The next thing you need to do is speak to a lawyer. Some offer a free half hour consultation. You can also Google some basic family law information for your jurisdiction.Allowing yourself to be treated badly is damaging to your self esteem and it leaves your children vulnerable. They need a strong woman to look after them and show them, by example, how to lead a happy, healthy and successful life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Godchild +, writes (5 August 2011):
Godchild is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do work I make a decent amount of money. I think im just scared
...............................
A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (5 August 2011):
This is a simple one to the outsider-me. Follow through with the divorce and don't look back. If you have to file full custody of your child so that you can move on emotionally financially and spiritually. This man is no good. He doesn't want to be with you enough to change or sacrifice. You deserve better. I know its a mistake and you just need someone real to love you and embrace your children as their own. You should just focus on you, getting a nice job and taking care of your kids. I really hope the best for you and your family and I honestly hope you don't go back. If you need his money file for child support. And if your really on hard times, there are many government programs available. Best wishes
...............................
|
