A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I moved in with his younger brother (12 years younger) a few months ago. He and his wife are in the process of getting a divorce and we agreed to move in to help each other out with bills, etc.My husband and I have been together for 13 years, and we have a very loving relationship and a very good sex life. He is the only man that I will ever truly love and I know he loves me with all of his heart. Here's where the problem is. I have been attracted to his little brother for years now. We get along pretty well. We talk and flirt a lot. I was never sure if the attraction was mutual, but I always liked to think that it was. A few weeks ago, my husband started talking about me having sex with his brother. Since then, it has just gotten worse every night. Last night he was half joking with his brother and told him that if he needed to get laid, he could have sex with me. It turned me on, but at the same time, I just shrugged it off and made some flip comment about it. My bil said, "no offense, but you're not really my type." It kind of hurt because I thought that he felt the same attraction that I did. Then, this morning, my bil took my husband aside before he left for work and asked if he was serious about my having sex with him. My husband said it was fine with him, but he'd have to ask me.Now I don't know what to think or do. While a big part of me really wants to, another part of me is afraid that it will jeopardize my marriage. My husband and I had a threesome with his best friend 8 years ago at his urging, and it didn't turn out so well. He keeps insisting that it will be different this time, and he really wants me to. What do I do?
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best friend, divorce, flirt, moved in, sex life, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2008): I think you should go with your feelings, and do what you feel like doing. If you want to have sex with your brother-in-law, go ahead. But it might be best if you only had sex with him in a threesome with you and your husband. If you feel the sexual attraction to your BIL and he feels the same way, and your hubby says it's ok, then go ahead and do it, but only if you want to.
By the way, in the other threesome you had with your husband, was it a double-penetration threesome, where you had regular and anal sex with two guys at the same time? You said it didn't turn out so well. Does that mean you didn't enjoy it, or didn't have an orgasm, or did not find that it was pleasurable? Can you describe in sequence how the threesome went, and who did what first?
Even if you did have sex with both of them, it might just be a temporary thing because sooner or later, I imagine your BIL is going to want to find a girlfriend or get another wife, and that will probably be the end of any sexual relationship with you that he migth have.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Ummm, hello? Are you some kind of party favor to be passed about? What does that say about your husband's level of respect for you that he would treat you like a "good time girl" gift to cheer his brother up? And have some respect for yourself and don't allow them to pass you around like this! If you say yes then what is to stop your husband pimping you out to other males in the family, or his other friends? Because that's what he is doing, dear, he's pimping you to his own brother.
The simple way out of this (which is still going to be difficult) is to say "NO! I do not want to do this" and stick to it.
Also, I have to say that I think that this is one messed up family that the two brothers could even *think* to act or treat a woman like this!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Okay, I am the original poster of this question. In answer to the question about my husband's best friend, they are still friends, but not best friends anymore because his friend moved across the country and got married shortly after it happened (nothing to do with what happened, he was already engaged when we did this). It didn't work out so well because my husband was afraid that I would have sex with his friend again when he wasn't around.
This time, my husband is telling me that since he's seen me be with another man before, it really won't bother him anymore. I have thought about the fact that this might be a test, but I can tell you that the idea of me sleeping with his brother really does turn my husband on.
I'm just not so sure I want to go through with this. When my bil asked that this morning, and my husband said that he was cool with it I feel like it set things in motion that I don't know how to stop. What happens if my bil asks me and I reject him? Then there will be weirdness between us. If I go through with it, what happens if my husband decides he really didn't want me to do it? I'm just hoping that my bil is too shy to go ahead and ask me.
I just need to know the most tactful way to get out of this situation. Moving out is not an option right now. The living arrangements are financially beneficial to all of us right now, and because of his divorce if we move out he might lose his house because he can't afford to make the payments.
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A
female
reader, mima  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 your husband is sick. if he has infected you with his senseless sickness, then you better get help. let me tell u the truth... "He doesn't love you anymore" for even thinking about that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): Want to see two brothers get into a fist fight? Then go ahead and sleep with his brother, have a threesome, whatever....more than anything it is going to hurt his friendship with his brother, you are going to be the cause of that and you will end up on the losing end....no matter how much you were coerced....this is a test and you are failing it otherwise you would have given him a resounding NO....your husband thinks you are a bit of a tart and in his heart of hearts he doesn't want this either.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 What went wrong the last time with the best friend?
If he is no longer a best friend, well that happens but his brother will always be his brother.
The incest angle also makes it impossible. A three-some with his brother? Just no.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Hi,
best to keep this one in fantasy land dont you think. Surely the one night of sex can never be that good to risk damaging your marriage . You've done this before and it didnt work out so wellk, this time its his brother for crying out loud.
Just forget about it, tell your husband its nuts and your brother in law can get laid somewhere else.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Sweetie, just HOW do you think it will be different? Do you love your husband and value your marriage? If so, dont even consider the option of sleeping with your brother in law. It is flattering to know that another male wants you sexually but keep it as a fantasy.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 Don't be daft, and don't let your husband be daft. You know that if it happens then sooner or later it's going to cause all sorts of problems in your marriage, however much your husband thinks he's all right about it now.
Like you said, you and your husband "have a very loving relationship and a very good sex life. He is the only man that I will ever truly love and I know he loves me with all of his heart." Focus on that, and put a stop to this other nonsense before it goes too far.
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