A
female
age
41-50,
*talianpride
writes:ive been with my husband off and on for 5yrs 8months married and he left last week while i was at work and only took a few outfits. yes we argued but that is normal especially when i was the only one working and trying to pay for everything and take care of everybody. anyways he left to his sisters house i was calling n she always rejected my calls until finally yesterday i talked to him and he said he doesnt think he can come back home, and basiclly said i should keep my rings and not go out and have fun. i dont know wat to do just forget it but i cannot afford no divorce
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): THANK YOUS ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT! AND GONNA TAKE YOUR ADVICE
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): He's in no position to tell you what to do, he's abandoned you.
Just move his things out - send them to him or get him to collect them, then get on with re-building your own,new life.
Its one less mouth to feed and you can do what you want with the rings,sell them,keep them on or put them in a drawer. Sounds like the marriage was on its way out, maybe because he couldn't contribute financially,maybe cos he fell out of love. Either way it's over.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (14 March 2012):
 Unless you two have property, it'll cost next to nothing to divorce.
No sense in staying married to someone who doesn't love you anymore. Instead of eating out or buying clothes or makeup, forgo luxuries for a few months, save your money, then get your divorce.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): Agree with Ciar; if your relationship is that volatile it's best to stay apart. In most states you have to be separated for a year (possibly more in some states) to get a no-fault divorce, so you have awhile before you have to spend any money on it.
Your husband can't have it both ways, though; either you two are trying to work out your differences, or you are marking time until you can divorce. If it's the latter, he can't tell you to stay home!
And btw, your rings are yours; if he asks for them back you're within your rights to say no.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 You don't have to rush out and get divorced. Many people remain officially 'separated' for years. Not the ideal perhaps, but it happens for various reasons.If you've been on and off for the past few years I think it's time to finally call it quits. That means don't take him back. Pack his things and set them aside in the garage. Then start rebuilding your life. You'll have one less person to provide for and one less opinion to take into consideration in your household.
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