A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my husband just wont get it. we got separated and just got back 2 years ago the reason being he used to hit me and had a drinking problem. all that is changed now he doesnt drink never has hit me or even raised his voice he chenged for that matter. now hes constantly talking to other women inviting them to go out telling them his single ive already caught him where hell say hes at work and i call and he isnt there. now its this other chik where it says "beutifullindsay" well i called her tonight from his phone and asked her if she knew he was married the skank said i cant talk right now and hung up. well he just left all dressed up and acted like he was mad. i cant take this anymore why wont he stop? what is wrong? ive asked him and adamantly denies hes doing any wrong actually makes me believe im wrong. hes a wonderful husband with me wonderful father hell do anything ill tell him . but he just wont stop doing this. ive kicked him out from MY apartment because he and his parents moved in with me and he uses that as an excuse to leave he said he will not leave me period. is this salvageable? also im 3 months pregnant which makes things so much harder
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male
reader, faenon  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 Wake up to reality girlie hes a wonderful husband with me is a fallacy you need to get outta your head now!
Firstly he was a drunkard and violent towards you, your physically and emotionally scarred still from this and the rest of his true colours are showing with his adulterous ways leave him now give yourself and your child a better more loving start to life please if he isnt going to listen and stop seeing other women now his never going to listen is that what you want? To grow old in a loveless marriage while he has multiple mistresses and brings home sti's to you?
Get out of this destructive marrige while you still can for your child's sake.
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (23 January 2011):
Your husband has been physically abusive to you in the past, and while the physical abuse has stopped, the emotional abuse hasn't. like many abusers, he denies that anything is his fault and he insists you're the one with the problem. this is very typical of people with abusive personalities.And like many victims of emotional abuse, you believe him. this is a typical effect of being in an abusive relationship which is that you get "brainwashed" by the other person and lose sense of reality. that's why despite him having hit you and now he's likely cheating on you (or at least blatantly disregarding your feelings by flirting with other women and telling them he's single!) you still write "he's a wonderful husband"...um, NO he is NOT a wonderful husband as you yourself have already shown us!!pregnant or not, you should probably leave him because studies have shown that abusers rarely change (and he is proof of it - he may have stopped hitting you physically but he hasn't stopped abusing you emotionally) and it's hard enough raising a kid without also having to deal with the ongoing emotional hurt caused by such a husband. You may want to leave him now while it's still early in your pregnancy so you have time to adjust to living on your own and lining up an alternative support network (your family and friends) before your pregnancy progresses.alternatively, you could wait until after the baby is born and see if that inspires him to change his ways, but be prepared for him not to change. You may still want to have a backup plan for leaving him anyway.
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