A
female
age
41-50,
*ookiemon77
writes:I left the military to be with husband. We kept our relationship on a down low because he is an officer and I was enlisted. But, I got out so that I could be with him and marry him with no problems. I had envited three of my closes friends from my unit to our wedding. And now my husband is upset with me because every one is dropping by to congradulate him on our wedding. He's upset because everyone knows about us now, even when I'm not in the military any more. I understand his part a little bit as an officer, how he may look. But, what is done is done. These are the consecuences, we both had consecuences. He thinks it no ones business and of course it isn't. But you cant help what people find out. I guess what my question is, Is he blowing this out of proportion?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 February 2010):
 I believe he is overreacting. People are congratulating, you left the military so there would not be an issue with your being married. There is honor with your marriage, those who stop by to extend their congratulations are, in a sense, acknowledging this honor, and love that you two share.
Where the other comment says that love has no boundaries, I just want to expand a little on that, to say that when God brings two people together, He is not bound by a military rule book in doing so.
I wish you and your husband many happy years together take care.
A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 did you ever talk to him about this? Did your husband ever think that getting married is not only buying a beautiful Television in your new room that you can easily hide it to people? What is he thinking? and you are accepting that? did you sometimes think that your husband must be also sometimes be proud that now he is married with you? He must not be unhappy because people know now that he is married, instead he should be happy and proud of it. unless he has a contract in one company that he should not get married at all! then he has a reason to be unhappy, but even though! he marry you it means he love you so the life now must be better happy than before isnt it?
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (21 February 2010):
I think your husband had unreasonable expectations... Wives and weddings are BIG news... did he really think that he could keep it a secret? Did he really expect you to NEVER tell your friends that you umm got married? It's kind of hard on you though, you'd think he would want to proudly show you off. Sorry doll.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): He's allowed to react, but he should have been prepared for this already, as you said, these are the consequences, and you guys didn't swear to secrecy did you?
Im sure he'll get over it once he gets used to it and learns that the sky wont fall down just because people know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): No...I'm actually serving in the mil myself and I definitely understand the whole "no fraternization" rule between enlisted and officers. What's done is done and you can't help who you fall in love with, but at the same time I understand the fact that he would be upset-since people now openly know that you two "broke" this rule. The fact is: it doesn't matter anymore, you're not a member of the military anymore and as I said-love knows no boundaries. He'll be upset for the meantime, but in time he will see that it was for the best and that he is getting a wonderful wife out of all this. Hope this helps
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