A
female
age
41-50,
*ememe1982
writes:I am 30 years old and have been with my husband for ten years. Last month I hit a crazy horny raunchy craze in my sex life, so my husband was happy to oblige and excited to satisfy me : ) Well now, all he text me about is sex. Dirty raunchy explicit sex texts. I do find this flattering that he is still into me after all these years, but I miss just getting regular text from him.. how can I tell him to ease up on the porno sexts without hurting his feelings? And when I say "not tonight,or how about you tell me in a romantic way" he gets defensive and quits texting me. 9 out of 10 texts are about hardcore sex. Whats up with this? and why wont he text me about other things anymore : (
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): Something is off here. You are married 10 years then last month you suddenyly had a sex craze? Um ok. Then your husband is only happy about it and has been sending you lewd texts non stop. It is like he stopped wanting to see you in any other light besides your new role as a sex crazed woman. And if you ask him not to go overboard he gets defensive and gives you the cold shoulder.I sense that there has always been a severe lack of communication on your marriage, most of all about sex issues. I sense that there is no real connection between you and that when you have sex it isn't bonding time it is 2 people using each other as an aid to get themselves off. You are almost like a sex prop to him and nothing else. Am I correct in any of this?If so I think you have to start communicating with him honestly. He will shut down because this is not how the relationship has been before so he is uncomfortable but you need to keep at it and not back off just because he is giving you the silent treatment. Maybe in the past he used silent treatment to get you to stop bringing up issues, if so you heed to take that power away from him and patiently keep trying to communicate your feelings and inviting him (not demanding answers from him as there is a difference) to do the same. Do not give in to his silent treatments.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 August 2013):
 "Babe, my phone broke."
Seriously, if you can't talk to your husband about something that is bothering you, then maybe you two need to go see someone to help improve your communication?
You could tell him that you are concerned that your friends or children will see the texts and that you'd prefer he sends those messages in a more secure way, such as email.
Why can't you simply be honest with him? Are you afraid of him?
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