A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend ended our 3 yr relationship saying we are two different people and it wasn't working. Ouch.I never thought I'd ever find a love like we had. It was like you see in the movies. I never thought I'd be one of those couples who sit on the same side at a booth in a cafe, holding hands, so in love, I never thought I could be so happy. I feel like such a mess. I have never been through such pain before my heart literally hurts. I'm afraid I will never get over him, that I'll be thinking about this person 20 years from now saying he was the one that got away. I have been trying to keep busy doing all of the things that your supposed to do to move on but I just can't deal..I feel totally rejected and my self esteem is at an all time low. I was such a good gf to him why didn't he want me? :(
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female
reader, maria.niz  +, writes (15 August 2013):
Happened the same thing to me, even though our relationship was shorter.I still feel the pain, but in the end I realised (and I hope that you will too) that I did all my best in that relationship.People change, that's true, and I know what you mean by saying that you were such a good girlfriend. Start to think that he is the one who has lost a wonderful thing, and not you. And also think about how badly your relationship would have gone if you two had stayed together. He probably is not the guy you knew anymore, he might have changed or find someone he thinks is better for him. My ex - when he broke up with me - told me that he knew he was mad,because he knew I was perfect for him, but that he couldn't feel the same things anymore. Unfortunately, we have to believe that men too are a little bit moody.Now, the hardest part. If you have already done the first steps to take after a break up (delating old messages, giving all his stuff, burning pictures, etc.), well, now you only have to think about yourself. I know that it's hard since you have been for a long time in a relationship, and i know the question you desperately make to yourself is "will i find love again", but just for now, think about anything else. Work, friends, hobbies, whatever. Try to give the love that is still in you to someone or something who really deserves it. I don't know, do charity, for example.Wish you a plenty of good luck, things like yours always happen to the best people.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): People often change especially in relationships. Even though you are relatively young it can be hard at any age. It may be that he is just not into the relationship anymore. You sound like a very nice person who valued the relationship. He may also have been wondering about commitment, marriage, kids and all that stuff. That can make guys nervous even if you have been talking about it. Relationships take work but they also should be fun and enjoyable. It is a time to be happy but don't despair because you will be happy again. I try to keep busy and I too am trying to get over someone that I really liked a lot and the pain is unbearable sometimes. There are many hotlines for young people too just to vent and there is someone to listen to you. I hope you feel stronger so that you can live your life and maybe open your heart to someone new.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 August 2013):
It probably has more to do with him than you. What is a good girlfriend to one guy is too tame/talkative/needy/etc for another. If you guys were perfect for each other, you'd still be together.
Remember that and you'll be okay. There are billions of guys out there, go find one that won't break your heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): 3 years seems like an awful long time to suddenly realize you're not compatible with someone, I think there is some underlying issue he hasn't told you about OR not, well sometimes relationships work out fine in the beginning and then they fail, there's the same old advice that time really help avoid all contact with exes, no texts, unfriend him on facebook, I don't go to the same places I know the ex will be, sometimes it's harder when there are shared friends, but try not to see him because you'll just clung harder to him after 3 years you got used to him, but in time you'll get over him, the answer is time, throw yourself a pity-party but don't over-think the whole breakup or what went wrong sometimes people fall out of love and it's nobody's fault, the fault is not in you, apparently you were just not right for him, but there are lots of people out there with whom you can potentially still have a relationship and be happy.
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