A
female
age
30-35,
*elpishereandnear
writes:My Husband is so forgetful! I really don't know what to do! Anything important that I tell him, He just can't take it in. He'll be talking about it that day and then a few weeks later he'll be like 'I wasn't aware of that.' For example, This month we're moving to a new flat as our baby is due in three months and we needed an extra bedroom. We have to pay a deposit and advanced months rent when we move in and he knows this. I asked him if we were okay for money because all of the bills come out of his account and I pay my share into it. He was really happy and said that we were and then when I said 'So you'll have £500 by this date ready in your bank?' he was like 500 POUND!! and I was like that's rent? we pay rent every month? and he was like I thought we just had to pay the deposit, bearing in mind we don't really have to 'pay' the deposit because we're just getting our old deposit back and giving it to the new flat. He's now made me lose my mind panicking frantically on how to organise our money properly all day because he can't keep something this obvious in his head?! How could he not realise that we had to pay rent?! I'm so confused and I'm starting to think he might have add or something because things like this have happened before when my family arrange a surprise party for me and his family were planning a christmas dinner. My mum told him months before they planned their meal the date my party would be and he still let his family plan a meal on that day! It's so difficult because he works so much and I always try and keep things in my head that we need to talk about, i.e. about money, moving etc. but by the time he gets home he just says 'can we talk about this tommorow because I'm really tired.' or 'lets do it tommorow, I've been at work all day.' I really don't know how to get him to zone in. If I try and talk to him It sometimes feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. Not knowing whether or not it's going in!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): I'm not trying to take sides with him, but I feel he is in the same situation as I am. Since I married 12 years ago, I have lost the ability to remember things. I guess my brain chose to do this to keep me sane.
I leave home at 7 and I come back home at 7 and before I even get a chance to use the toilet, my wife starts bombarding me with words. She nags, she gives me orders,... . I hear her voice but I don't hear any words.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): Is he like this in his job too? Does he often drop the ball at work?
Some people if they are very stressed at work literally have no brain cells left for anything outside of work. Asking them to be on top of stuff at home, feels like making home/family into another dreadful job.
If he is like this at work too then he has got some issues he might want to get sorted out because that would mean he is barely coping with life and is relying on everyone else to get by.
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A
female
reader, helpishereandnear +, writes (5 July 2013):
helpishereandnear is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have adhd myself, and find it hard to concentrate so I understand. I'm starting to think maybe he does have something that hasn't been diagnosed yet? But thankyou, these are good ideas.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2013):
 i'm like this i forget everything...
we solved this problem by having a joint online calendar and I Put every bill I have to pay on the calender and get a reminder.
we also send daily email with the notes for the day... it helps me because I have ADHD and need things laid out in nice neat ways to help me remember.
or like us.. I send hubby an email about say our credit card statement and he replies with "we have to go over this soon" and we will plan a time and write it on the calendar as "bill overview discussion" or something like that.
does your husband have any learning disabilities or ADHD?
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