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anonymous
writes: I have been married for 11 years & have had many problems in my marriage in this time. I love my husband but feel I can no longer live with his critical, moody behaviour anymore. It is not always directed at me but at anything, drivers, teenagers, NZers,(he is British) his job, etc. I have told him how unhappy this makes me many times & he promises to change but never does. We have tried counselling a few times as well. I have finally told him it's over & he has agreed. Do you think I have done the right thing? I am not looking forward to being on my own but I am very independent & will cope. We have a 10 yr old son that adores him & my 14yr old son from another relationship whom he has never been kind to.Any advice would be helpful. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2006): I know this is a long time after the question but I couldn't help myself replying, your situation sounds so like mine. except for one thing - I have stayed with my husband because I can't face the trauma of splitting up the family. I'm willing to bet that your husband is always criticising you and others but if you dare to turn it round and criticise him, he just can't take it. I say well done you. Children are very resilient. i fear mine have the same anxiety about being constantly criticised, or constantly hearing criticism, as I do. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): Counseling is necessary, before anyone considers divorce, as long as both are willing to cooperate to solve the problem. Anyone who is always negative and angry has a problem to deal with, and I am not saying hubby is crazy. He has a lingering, underlying anger about something.
However, these things usually involve two people. You need to see if you are contributing to the problem. If you are not sure, see a counselor separately prior to marital counseling. Otherwise, you are doomed to what will probably be another doomed second marriage if you are unwittingly creating the situation.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (6 June 2005):
 You took all the steps you could to try and save the marriage. And ultimately, he made the choice to not try to see the errors of his grouchy ways. You did the right thing. If he wants to be miserable let him be. But you let him know that he is not dragging you down with him and your son also. Life is too short to have a bad attitude. I'm glad you realize that. Inhale...now exhale...tomorrow is a new day, love. Now remember it and best of everything to you and your sons.
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