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My husband is Ok about it. What are other's thoughts on platonic friendships with overseas penpals? Just friends. But could it cause problems?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 July 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2012)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am a married woman who has an email penpal who is also married.

My husband is aware of my penpal and has no issue with it so long as it remains just a frienship, which it has and will. We talk about everyday stuff and get on well.

My only concern is that my penpal's wife is not aware he talks with me on email and apparently is a jealous person.

Im wondering if I should be writing to him. I did tell him I felt a bit bad, but he was an adult and could discuss it with her. I have also explained that I woud not like to cause any issues in their relationship.

I also have a couple of other penpals who are females so no issues there.

So what do people think, should I stop writing to this male penpal and just forget this friendship?

View related questions: jealous, married woman

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2012):

Sweet-thing agony auntYes you should probably stop writing to him. He obviously told you about his wife for a reason. You have to be the strong one here. Plus the longer you correspond with another man, the further it can go emotionally. Which would be unfair to your husband and his wife. Wish him well and sign the card your name and your husband's name. Then take up your pen with some of the female penpals you mentioned. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012):

Im currently getting abusive emails daily from the wife of my pen pal who didn't know we were chatting! Have been for about 4 years and she is cracking up!! Don't see the big deal..! My husband is fine with it

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2012):

You’re not responsible for his relationship. There is no wrong-doing on your part, so long as you don’t cross the line and do anything to try and turn this in to anything more than a friendship. He is entitled to a friendship with some-one of whatever gender, as are you. If he feels that problems will arise in his relationship because of your email correspondence, he can make the choice to break off contact with you. If he doesn’t, you shouldn’t worry unnecessarily about this. You’re responsible for your own conduct, not his.

I wish you all the very best.

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