A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 31 years, has gone to "Mistress Nicole" for a Delicous Duo...which means she watches and he gets to blow a guy and gets anal sex... He was wild with anger that I found out thru his email account, and then denied that that was even a possibility. He blamed me for not putting out...granted..I am 52 and in the throws of teenagers at home (17 and 13) and menopausal. I really have no interest in day to day sex...and he wants it everday and all night! When I am sleeping he sticks it in me for 3-4 hours a night and claims that he wants to be close. He is taking Viagra.. and 58, goes to the gym and is really buff---even shaves his balls! I loved him for 30 years..but this is not the man I married. Alcohol also plays a big part of his day. He denies that he is not an alcoholic and sex addict..but I think not!!!! He is in the process of a new career and we have put our life savings into the job. My boys, are very unhappy with our life, they realize that life is different!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): You do deserve better. If he 'sticks' it in you while you are asleep, isnt this rape? If you dont want it or are asleep, then he shouldnt be doing it, full stop! Sit him down and make him realise just how you feel. He got made with you when you found out about his torrid sex life. I would of kicked him to the kerb then! You shouldnt be putting up with this. Dont let him get away with it and blame you for things, you are not to blame. Your kids will thank you in the future if you get out now. You will have some of your sanity left and you are young enough to start again. Please consider getting away now and leave him to his rotten life! I stayed with my first husband who was a wife beater for the sake of the kids, who later said i should of gone years before. So go on, do this change for yourself and stuff him!
take care
xx
A
female
reader, pgissyd  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 Ok for a start, do you still make love with him? If so get to the doctors and get checked for 'everything' under the sun! Then lay down the law 'big style'. he HAS to stop. If he wants to stay with you, then both of you need to get to councilling, he has to stop doing all of it, the sexual encounters, the drink, EVERYTHING.
I would guess at a midlife crises, but perhaps he just isnt the man you thought he was.
If he refuses to awknowledge your pain, then I will tell you what Im guessing your asking us to say anyway. Get rid of him. A man like that is no good to anyone if he refuses to even accept he needs to change. Though he does need help, if he wont take it... well you cant lead a horse to water right?
You deserve better and so do your kids, do they know what their father has been upto? Can you imagine how they would react? Can you even begin to think what it would do to them? Teenagers are alot cleverer than we sometimes give them credit for, I remember begging my parents to separate, just to stop the rows and the violence. They wouldnt listen to me and have stayed together even though me and my brother no longer live with them. Stubborness keeps them together (Plus my mother fear my father would hunt her down) and neither of them is happy and they never will be, but that is their choice, I guess what Im trying to say is, Your kids are old enough to cope with the possability of you two spliiting up and may even expect it.
I really do wish you all the luck and love I can. I hope you make the right choices for you.
Love Issy xxxx
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