A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am very troubled, Over the last five years I have found my clothes and other possesions either slashed or damaged. They were fine when I hung them up or used them last. I belive it to be my husband who is wrongly angry with me as he believes I cheated on him. I have never ever in 21 years of marriage. I do believe my husband loves me, he does loads, but emotionally he can be unstable and then becomes a Jeckyl and Hyde. He becomes furious when I become upset after finding another garment damaged then block me out and feels very sorry for himself. He does not have friends but is away a lot as he is in the forces. I am afraid to say if I bumped into a male in the street as I often find something else damaged. This is driving me to despair and I have had to inform the school my child is at as this is affecting him. It stopped for a while but as soon as the school holidays started I found a bag belonging to my late sister torn at both ends. This is a strong leather expensive bag. How would others deal with this crazy behaviour. I believe my husband can shut out his behaviour. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (23 August 2010):
 Either seek medical help for him or go to the police. It's very disturbing behaviour indeed and a form of control. If your husband cannot talk to you openly about his fears but takes revenge in other ways then he definitely needs help.
His behaviour could get worse and could lead to physical violence. If he won't face up to what he is doing and deal with it then you should consider getting you and your child away to a place of safety until he does.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all who replied. I think you are all correct that my husbnd has emotional issuses, probably brought on by his childhood. I have already gone down the route of reporting his behaviour to his doctor and the Military after some disturbing behaviour, they sent him to a pyschiatrist. They think he is fine and he holds down a very responsible job. That said I thank you all for beleiving me, it is hard sometimes when you are told that you are the one cutting up your own clothes. I am glad just now that he is posted and I can relax a bit. Our children adore him he works with them a great deal, but of course they get sad when they see me upset when I find another possession has been destroyed. Thanks all.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 My father did the same thing to my mother, destroyed things that she'll never get back, it wasn't just things she just bought either, gifts from friends, things from her childhood and the like. In the end he turned out to be a ***hole. He abused us and he hit my mom and I'll hate him forever.
You don't need this kind of man in your life, leave him, raise your child with someone whose at peace with you.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Maybe he should go to a doctor or a therapist to find out whats wrong. This is very serious. Do know anything that could have happened to him before it started that could have possibly triggered something in his brain to become this way? Surely if he thought that you were cheating for the past five years he would have already left. If he doing this to your clothes, whos say that someday he wont abuse you or your son? If things get worse you should yourself and your child and leave him. I hope things get better and I wish you the very best of luck.:]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): It sounds to me that your partner has emotional issues and is finding if difficult to cope and he is doing it for you to notice him. Either have a long heart to heart conversation with him or ask him to speak to a doctor for the sake of your marriage or child.
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