A
female
age
,
*lowing
writes:My husband of 37 years is now demanding an mmf. He also recently started working his finger in my anus during intercourse and insists on oral from me right after sex without wiping my juices off of his penis. I don't know where this is coming from. Every vacation he begs me to choose a stranger to share our room and has offered to pay an escort. I am not comfortable with my body. What can I do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2016): It sounds to me that he is a very controlling person and I hope your safety is not compromised if you refuse to do what he wants.
It is a form of abuse to try to force someone to do something they dont want to especially in a sexual context.
Are you really married?
Is this a question of an older guy taking advantage of a youngster, embarking on a course of grooming?
If you are married you can seek legal help for a divorce.
If you are hurt by his sexual demands you can speak to the police as they take rape in the home more seriously these days.
I think he wants a sex worker for a partner.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 February 2016):
 HI there, flowing. Odd that you seem to be answering your own question.
Care to elaborate?
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A
female
reader, flowing +, writes (8 February 2016):
flowing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe answers that you have been receiving up to now read a bit one sided. Sex in marriage is a two way street 50/50. It is not up to the woman to dictate boundaries or parameters. Relax and have the threesome with your husband and do the anal fingering and oral acts that he wants half the time and the standard sex the other half. Unless you vacation weekly, I am sure he will think it fair to restrict the threesomes to each vacation period you two share.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): You need to stand up for yourself and say NO to all his requests. Sex is suppose to be enjoyable between two people.
Wanting a threesome is a private matter between you and your husband.
It sounds like he has a porn addiction.
Personally, all the things he is doing are disgusting and I, for sure, would be telling him NO.
If he wants a new wife or a girlfriend or a prostitute tell him you will meet him in divorce court.
Then go merrily along you way and you are free to enjoy your life as you see fit, as you should.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 February 2016):
Say no, ask him what the hell is going on and if he need to change up his meds and tell him he needs to change his internet porn habits.
If you aren't comfortable with something then make that clear. Leave the room if you have to.
And to echo Code Warrior: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-wont-stop-badgering-me-about-having.html
Are you somehow inured to abuse? Do you need some help in telling him NO?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 February 2016):
 First things first.... You husband is acting like an A$$hole......
Next: You say to him: "Hunchy-bunchy, this B/S about having a M/M/F arrangement is preposterous... and I won't have anything to do with it. AND, if you don't drop the subject - right away - then you need to find another wife and/or G/F..... Understood????"
That should cut to the quick.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 January 2016):
 Sounds like a couple possible reasons:
Him wanting to spice up the sex life
OR
Him watching too much porn lately and is now treating you like you are some sexual "prop" in his own little porn.
OR
He wants to cheat and my goading you into things you don't WANT to do he might be hoping that you tell him to go do it with strangers.
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Why not simply say NO F'ing way! If you don't STOP with the badgering and trying to MAKE me do things I don't want to do - I'm done!
No means freaking no. I'd be sure to let him know that is how you feel.
If it's #1 (trying to spice things up) then TALK to him about what YOU might like to do, where you boundaries and limits are and that he NEEDS to stick within those.
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