A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to make of my life sometime. My husband's mom is in an assisted living facility. She had a particular care giver who tried to get my husband to hire her under the table. So I go to visit his mom because he asked me to check this woman out and this caregiver left her duty without permission even though she was paid to be there. So I happened to be there when she pulled a disappearing act. The director called me in to apologize and called her agency. He asked me what I wanted to do about it and I said just don't have her be with my mother in law again but I did not want the woman fired.Well, they fired her. Who knows how many other times she has done stuff like this. But the real kicker is she called my husband on his personal cell number and told him I am a bad person and had her fired and not to tell me she had called!I am so mad. That is so not okay and I did not get her fired. Her behavior did. I had nothing to do with it.The other truly upsetting piece is that after he met her he tried to badger me into the idea of hiring this 4 foot 10 woman to take care of his 5 foot 8 mother. A woman I had never met. She has no certification or credentials and is not bonded. She lives 40 miles away from us. I explained my concerns, too small to lift her, lives too far away etc but she had done such a great job on my hubby that we got into a huge fight and he told me that I was out and she was in? I was flabbergasted. He even called her his family. He even packed my things. he sent her an email on my computer telling her how "he hoped to see her tomorrow."I guess he wanted me to find it.We are both under so much stress. I don't know what to do now if anything. Even though the dust has settled, I cannot look at him the same way. I think he has lost his mind. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): If some random female, had my hubby number even for work relations regarding his mother I would not consider it random .. Infact I would consider it very personal unless I knew before hand and had agreed along with him this was okey .. I mean would he have been as understanding had you been hiring say:- a Gardner, and the guy was ringing your mobile ..You can bet your bottom drawer, no he would not !! So, she in ..your out ..hmmHere my suggestion .. Do not leave as yet though I don't think you will be able to retrieve this relationship .. For me, what he said and did would be unforgivable ..One .. Move his stuff into another room.. Two.. Tell him it's his call and as long as there no responsibility regarding his mother and your duty as a daughter inlaw to visit ( nothing more now) then he should go for it ..Three . Tape record this conversation with your husband ..Four . Leave them to it and watch how it will unraveling at their feet much like a ball of wool..Five ... Start seeing a solicitor and looking at your future..This is a very low thing he has done and being honest whether you had been male/female I would state the same..He does not deserve you.. You are better than all this ..I bet you have a pretty little chin, so keep it up and only cry when he is not in the vicinity .. Take care sweetie ..
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 August 2013):
 One more thing, pay for a background check on this woman. You have her name and email information and address, that should be enough. If she's this manipulative, she probably has some serious skeletons in her closet. Best to know what you are dealing with, it may surprise hubby to learn them.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 August 2013):
Don't leave that house with any belongings until you've talked with a divorce attorney. You need to protect your financial future. Sorry he's being bizarre and weird but you should not succumb to this kind of hysterical thinking, okay?
Get your ducks in a row and figure out a strategy to protect your future.
Also get the number for a good family or marriage counselor and make an appointment ASAP.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 August 2013):
 Wow.
I'd pack my stuff and go for a long week-end with friends. And then I would look for a good lawyer. There is more going on here then meets the eye. I'd be betting on it.
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