A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for almost two years and we have had our share of ups and downs. Lately, we have been fighting because he cannot understand the concept of me telling him no when it comes to the bedroom activities. I don't say no all the time. It's just those moments when I have walked miles in the sun to work and home because he works in another county and needs the car. I would think he understands when I'm tired. When he cannot get his way, he accuses me of cheating and/or blames me for not disciplining my one year old child. I'm asked to the point of begging for us to go to relationship counseling--in which he agrees until I become serious about the concept, then he begins with the accusations all over again. Now, I can't take it anymore and let him go,but still love him. He He is begging for counseling to save us but I think he is lying again. I Need advice! What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 August 2013):
 if he's BEGGING for counseling call his bluff.
FIND several counselors and email him the list with the names and phone numbers and say:
"this is a joint effort by BOTH of us to SAVE our DYING relationship. COUNSELING is our ONLY option. WE MUST GO or I am going to have to leave. Here are 3 counselors I found that have hours and times we can work with... I am fine with any of them. Please pick one and make an appointment and let me know when it is. You must comply with this within two weeks or I am going to have to leave."
Then be prepared to leave when he does not make the appointment.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): So he blames you when he doesn't get what he wants. Is this the type of man you want to be with? Someone who only cares about his needs? I find it very difficult for someone like this to change from counseling. That's my opinion. I'm under the impression that he hopes counseling will change your behavior - from saying no to yes - rather than for him to learn to accept no and leave it at a no.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 August 2013):
Step 1: talk about the problem. If that doesn't work try Step 2: counseling. If that doesn't work or they refuse you have a few options. Live with the problem indefinitely (and the fighting that comes with it), accept that this is the way things are and give in (meaning have sex on demand without complaint), or decide you two aren't right for each other and leave.
I'd choose the latter option but that's just me.
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